In a manner of speaking. There were other circumstances that added to it - I'd changed myself to fit whatever mold I could. But my dedication to him - my love and addiction to him - it shaped how I handled them. I could live in four walls and be honest with myself, love him the way I've wanted to love, but I had to button all that up to go back.

[ he shrugs in the water, sliding a little deeper, enjoying the heat and the warmth of it. ]

They didn't find out, per se. They assumed. Saw me stepping out with new company. I introduced them to him - they were curious. He was a business partner at the time, but things didn't get on too well. So they questioned. I didn't come over as much, missed bigger family events in turn to spend time with him.

Sacrifices.

[ he looks over at tim, curious, watching the thoughtful lines of the other man's face. he can't look at him and tell him that things will be easier, because when they leave this place, it might not be. not where he's from. not with what he does for a living. ]

So it may look easy to deny what you want. To go after what your heart wants. It took me a while to get over the guilt of it. I didn't for a long time. Watched my family move and grow around me without being a part of it. I was the man of the house, too - funded their home and lifestyle. But they couldn't quite bring themselves to understand mine.

I can't blame them. I sacrificed them for him, in a way. For myself.