"Is that what I'm telling you?"

Sorry, guy, the slang is just going to fly right over her head.

"That was me last month. Woke up feeling hungover in a bed that isn't mine, which is amusing because I'm not even that much of a drinker." And she's not even old enough to drink legally, but that's probably beside the point here.

"I live here now. And it looks like you do too!"