[ the dam holding back grace's rawest feelings has severe structural damage and she is gripped by the urge to dump this girl and bolt at how hard the reminder of daniel hits her. but the way she is letting grace hold her as she covers her ears is too much to walk away from. the dam will have to hold. ]
There's too much. [ the problem with grief is that there is too much. too much love with nowhere to go, too much anger with nowhere to go, too much pain and sorrow and fury and rage and no outlet because the person you want to direct all of it to is gone.
grace is terrified of love because she's seen the brutal aftermath of it. she has picked her husband's viscera from her hair, washed off blood that belonged to him, to her, impossible to separate. she knows more intimately the grief it left behind than how it felt to be in love; she's been a widow longer than she'd been married and trying desperately to navigate hating alex so much she could cry and loving him so much she scream. ]
You're already suffering enough, being unkind to yourself isn't going to change anything.
no subject
There's too much. [ the problem with grief is that there is too much. too much love with nowhere to go, too much anger with nowhere to go, too much pain and sorrow and fury and rage and no outlet because the person you want to direct all of it to is gone.
grace is terrified of love because she's seen the brutal aftermath of it. she has picked her husband's viscera from her hair, washed off blood that belonged to him, to her, impossible to separate. she knows more intimately the grief it left behind than how it felt to be in love; she's been a widow longer than she'd been married and trying desperately to navigate hating alex so much she could cry and loving him so much she scream. ]
You're already suffering enough, being unkind to yourself isn't going to change anything.