[August thinks that if he squints enough, he can pretend they're not in some alternate universe where he's older and Nick's younger and they're actually just in a field together under the night sky. that maybe holding hands is all that they need, and if they turn around they'll be back in Alaska and he can say no to everything he said yes to. only by imagining, he can allow himself the tenderness in being shoulder to shoulder, leaning his cheek into soft brown hair.
he inhales, tries to remember all the details that he buried so deep over the past few years. he wants Nick's scent to linger on him, but knows that it won't. his magic coils around any innocence he wants to hold dear. he had left him behind, thought that the boys would take care of him, and they didn't.
he wants to ask what he means, what he's been doing that he doesn't remember the last week and a half. but he doesn't feel like he has a right to. how could he? it isn't like Nick is badgering him with questions.]
I should have called more. [but he's not looking for him to tell him it's okay.] You have me while I'm here. I'll make sure you don't get lost.
no subject
he inhales, tries to remember all the details that he buried so deep over the past few years. he wants Nick's scent to linger on him, but knows that it won't. his magic coils around any innocence he wants to hold dear. he had left him behind, thought that the boys would take care of him, and they didn't.
he wants to ask what he means, what he's been doing that he doesn't remember the last week and a half. but he doesn't feel like he has a right to. how could he? it isn't like Nick is badgering him with questions.]
I should have called more. [but he's not looking for him to tell him it's okay.] You have me while I'm here. I'll make sure you don't get lost.