[ he strokes armand's hair softly, weaving fingers into his hair to hold him all the closer, inviting him into the crook of his neck, inviting him to the heat of his jugular. whether he takes or not, it doesn't matter. it's a show of vulnerability all the same.

he sighs, cradling armand closer, tighter, anything to help him feel the shield against the horrors plaguing him. ]

She's gonna do that. [ quiet, like he's seen her himself so many, many times. ] Heard her when I first came here. Laughing. We all did her wrong. We all failed her. She deserves to laugh at all of us and wish us dead. But I wanted you to live.

[ he huffs, something like a sad laugh. ] Forgot what it was to help a sick human. Forgot what it was to be helpless and human. Thought I'd want to go back to that and having been there, having been that? It's not who I am anymore.

I couldn't save her. I couldn't save you.