( back when bellamy ran as fast as he could to paint the ground as chaotic outside as he felt between his ribcage ( red with rebellion, red like the chancellor's blood on his hands, seared into the back of his eyes ), he would have jumped at the chance to show the whole world how unafraid he was to be loud, unapologetic, and deviant in broad daylight. he remembers what it felt like to be visible for the first time in his life, to have people listen when he spoke, to be seduced by the power of fear.
( once, he'd traded all the good he ever tried to be with one horrible attempted murder. and if every good thing he touched turned to shit in his hands anyway, what was the difference? )
it's not like slipping into a second skin now, thrust back into physical intimacy in semi-public, but bellamy can't find a strong enough objection to pull his pants up. some part of his soul has always wanted to be wholly consumed, to get used up and taken for all he's worth. not quite like this, he thinks dimly, though why not like this? why not by her teeth?
he can't read her mind and she doesn't need to parse his thoughts to perceive that he likes what he sees: beautiful destruction. the clarity of a gun pressed to his temple.
the psychological realization that he should be screaming, but he just swallows hard and nods acutely. )
Yes, ( a raspy confession, even with her tongue inside of him, and his head thuds back hard into pristine wallpaper. there are chunks of light caramel cake being ripped off of him and he grunts instead of roaring, transfixed by how her fingers claw into him. he's all freckles and blown pupils, dark eyelashes heavy. ) On mine.
( which is about all the warning he gives ( maybe she steps back, sees it in his mind before his muscles tense ), before he releases her by the hair and grabs under her arms, along her ribs, to scoop her to full height before him. his gaze is harsh and foreboding, longing just behind it, and he goes to kiss her. pauses directly before her mouth because it's up to her.
however, if she dodges him ( fully within her right ), his back-up plan involves biting into the curve of her shoulder to get a mouthful of something decadent — as if he could possibly tell the difference between pistachios, whipped mascarpone, or a berry concoction. )
cw: having a death wish
( once, he'd traded all the good he ever tried to be with one horrible attempted murder. and if every good thing he touched turned to shit in his hands anyway, what was the difference? )
it's not like slipping into a second skin now, thrust back into physical intimacy in semi-public, but bellamy can't find a strong enough objection to pull his pants up. some part of his soul has always wanted to be wholly consumed, to get used up and taken for all he's worth. not quite like this, he thinks dimly, though why not like this? why not by her teeth?
he can't read her mind and she doesn't need to parse his thoughts to perceive that he likes what he sees: beautiful destruction. the clarity of a gun pressed to his temple.
the psychological realization that he should be screaming, but he just swallows hard and nods acutely. )
Yes, ( a raspy confession, even with her tongue inside of him, and his head thuds back hard into pristine wallpaper. there are chunks of light caramel cake being ripped off of him and he grunts instead of roaring, transfixed by how her fingers claw into him. he's all freckles and blown pupils, dark eyelashes heavy. ) On mine.
( which is about all the warning he gives ( maybe she steps back, sees it in his mind before his muscles tense ), before he releases her by the hair and grabs under her arms, along her ribs, to scoop her to full height before him. his gaze is harsh and foreboding, longing just behind it, and he goes to kiss her. pauses directly before her mouth because it's up to her.
however, if she dodges him ( fully within her right ), his back-up plan involves biting into the curve of her shoulder to get a mouthful of something decadent — as if he could possibly tell the difference between pistachios, whipped mascarpone, or a berry concoction. )