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π–˜π–†π–‘π–™π–‡π–šπ–—π–“π–™ π–’π–”π–‰π–˜. ([personal profile] saltburnmods) wrote in [community profile] draino2024-09-07 10:00 am
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𝐈 πƒπŽπ'𝐓 ππŽπ‘πŒπ€π‹π‹π˜ π‹πˆπŠπ„ π‚π‡πŽπ‚πŽπ‹π€π“π„ π‚π€πŠπ„ β–£ SEPT TDM





SEPTEMBER 2024 TDM: LUGHNASADH


Welcome to SALTBURNT, a panfandom smut/thriller game based off the film Saltburn, where characters are encouraged to indulge their deepest desires. The money never runs out and the liquor never stops pouring, so you may as well indulge from the bounty. Of course, things are rarely what they seem, and the manor itself seems to have a consciousness of its own. Throw parties, trash the house, engage in youthful merriment, but remember β€” dangers come out at night, and no one, no matter how rich you are, is safe from demons lurking in the shadows.

Threads can be considered game canon, provided the players agree. Players can also start fresh upon acceptance into the game. In game characters can post to the TDM directly, using Β« NEW CHARACTER/IN GAMEΒ» in the header. There will be a spot below for new characters to link their toplevels for easy access. Alternatively, prompts on the Test Drive can be used for in game logs.







WELCOME TO SALTBURNT


It's the hangover more than the light streaming in through half drawn curtains that wakes you up, your brain rattling in your skull, your mouth dry and cottony, your stomach churning with whatever it is you drank last night. If self preservation is your strong suit, you might turn over in bed and see a few painkillers laid out for you on a silver dish, accompanied by a glass of water. If it isn’t, stay in bed and wallow β€” eventually a maid will be in to tear your curtains open, saying, "Breakfast is served," and scurrying out quietly, invisibly. Breakfast? Maybe it’s normal for you. Maybe it isn’t.

You're drawn from the room, either by the mystery, or an undefinable urge that could be supernatural in origin, or could be your hunger catching up to you. It's almost nostalgic, the walk to the dining room β€” have you been here before? Were you drawn up to this estate in a car? Haven’t you done all this already? Maybe you mosey around a library, maybe you run into your suite mate in your adjoining bathroom. Regardless, seemingly all hallways, covered in priceless artworks and ancient relics from times long past, lead to the dining room, where a comically long table houses the Balfours and their many guests, some who seem just as disgruntled and confused as you. No matter. "Breakfast will be out in a minute," they say. What's that?

EDIT SEPTEMBER 2024: For those who have attended breakfast with the Balfours before, a change in routine might come as a shock, given how rarely they stray from form. However, as of September, CARMY BERZATTO has taken over Head Chef position, alongside his cousin RICHIE JERIMOVICH and always the bridesmaid never the bride, SANJI. In place of the self-serve style breakfast, there is an elevated menu, including: a self-serve juice bar, with pitchers of various juiced fruit and vegetables, shaved ice, coconut water, green and black tea syrups, potted microherbs, sliced whole berries, and finger limes. There is also, naturally, liquor and champagne available. Guests can make their own drinks, or ask the allocated staff member to serve them one of the "specials" if they're feeling adventurous.

That said, these are world class chefs, so the gold is really in the menu:
THE EGGS

𝐓𝐇𝐄 π‰πŽππ“π˜: one runny boiled egg shelled and recoated in edible gold leaf, seated on a throne of fried bread soldiers, plated with whipped butter and italian parsley.
𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐒 ππ„ππ„πƒπˆπ‚π“: vinegar poached eggs with hollandaise foam on a bed of toasted freekah and baby spinach.
𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐒 π’π‡π€πŠπ€π’π‡πŽπ”πŠπ€: two eggs poached in a ramekin of pureed tomato, served with a crispy grilled cheese cut to dip.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 π’π˜πƒππ„π˜: french omelette with a light cheese filling, topped with crushed potato chips and chives.
πŽπ„π”π…π’ ππ‘πŽπ”πˆπ‹π‹π„π’: fluffy scrambled eggs in brown butter, served on sourdough.
π’ππ€ππˆπ’π‡ 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓: mini-quiche made with caramelized red onions and jamon pata negra ham.
𝐄𝐆𝐆 πŒπ‚π’π€ππƒπ–πˆπ‚π‡: bacon, egg, cheese and sausage breakfast muffin that tastes weirdly like it was made at a popular chain with golden arches.

THE SWEETS

❖ momofuku's "cereal milk" ❖
❖ fette biscottate with a sour cherry jam and peanut floss ❖
❖ a warm cinnamon bun served with a shot of espresso coffee for dipping ❖
❖ a macadamia-marzipan croissant with a wattleseed and burnt-honey filling ❖
❖ poffertjes with a liquid nutella injection ❖


If you want to leave, you’ll have to tell Giles, the housekeeper, who will arrange a car for you that mysteriously, or perhaps suspiciously, never arrives. Unfortunately, confronting Giles about it is near impossible, as he’s as good at being invisible as the rest of the house staff. Of course, there’s no reason why you can’t just walk out. The front gates are easy enough to jump over, even if the walk towards them gives you a strange sense of foreboding, or just outright discomfort, as if the ground itself doesn’t want you to leave. Those more sensitive or fragile might find they can’t make the jump, no matter how physically able, or desperately wanting. Still, a strong person could continue on, over the fence and into the lush English countryside. The feeling doesn’t dissipate, though β€” this sense of wrongness, almost sickness, like a weight on your back. Walk into the evergreen, carry on, but the strongest will make it perhaps a mile or so before the weight of dread and paranoia brings you to your knees, and then to your face, flat in the middle of a dirt road. What were you thinking? Is this really better?

Wake up with a hangover, in a bed, the curtains drawn, the maid saying, "Breakfast is served," before scurrying out. The painkillers are there, just like you remember. In fact, it’s all exactly how you remember, as if you never left an imprint the first time, or any mess you made was cleared away while your back was turned. Walk to the dining room, find everyone there eating away at their breakfast.

"We dress for dinner," says Portia, with a kind, if discerning smile. "Black tie."




ITSY BITSY TEENIE WEENIE

CONTENT WARNINGS: drugs, alcohol, nudity, potential for nsfw.
POOLSIDE PLAYLIST courtesy of Robin

It's an innocent enough, offhand suggestion from the mouth of one (1) DIARMUID about wanting to learn how to paint, and honestly, the house couldn't agree more: a party is necessary. As August winds down, it's important to go out with a bang, and what better way than through an explosive end of summer pool party? To say goodbye to the waning summer nights, the manor is throwing a pool party with an artistic neon twist. Per the growing complications of everyone's relationship status in this new age of bisexuality, polygamy, and pegging, glow-in-the-dark bracelets with matching solo cups have been set out with the appropriate labels β€”Β TAKEN, SINGLE, OPEN, and IT'S COMPLICATED, depending on your interest. Lounge by the water in your cutest bikini or trunks or nothing at all and engage in some very relaxing full-body painting using the supplies provided β€” that is, the paint is supplied, though brushes and sponges are few and far between. Better just to use your own body to paint your masterpiece. Put yourself on display as a model by the pool, or engage in a brutally competitive game of chicken fights, wherein the loser loses their clothes and the winner gets to keep them.

Not your style? Sneak off somewhere more private like the twinkling gardens illuminated with multicolored tiki lamps, lakeside decorated with bio-luminescent rocks, or the (perfectly safe, wolfless, we promise) maze to indulge in your inner desires. You might find that certain colors glow beneath the moonlight and unlock desires you’ve kept tightly under lock and key. It's hard not to feel impulsive or unrestrained under the full moon's light, with your body paint as armor. People might appear more attractive to you under this witching light like a magic spell cast β€” but really, you haven’t had any trouble with that, here. Have you?

If you’re thirsty, the house has tasked RICHIE, CARMY, and SANJI (dressed as cabana boys) with an extensive poolside drinks menu, since they’ve been so helpful with breakfast. Thanks, boys. Ask them for anything. In fact, ask them for everything. They're here to serve.

As the night closes out, turn your eyes heavenward for a spectacular fireworks show. Many apologies to those of you who suffer from PTSD; you can head inside for an early night and cover your ears with a pillow, but do be careful not to suffocate yourself, unless you're into that. The fireworks shimmer and shatter, and those watching closely might start to see hidden messages written in the stars for you, though is that your eyes playing tricks? Better ask that friend you’re snuggled up with. As anxiety weighs a little heavier on your heart, you might feel compelled to confess a few secrets on this last night of summer, big or small, something loving or not. Seek out that destructive habit, or take some steps toward healing. Let the fireworks drown out the noise.






FRUITS OF LABOUR


CONTENT WARNINGS: body horror, gore, cannibalism.

Saying goodbye to summer means welcoming in the new season, and as August nights turn into September mornings, the landscape of the grounds changes from verdant greens to egg yolk yellow and sunburnt orange, a gradient of autumnal colors. To that end, a week long festival erects outside to enjoy the last of the year's good weather β€” a generous harvest bounty fills up tables and tables of ample displays, full of ripened fruits and fresh baked breads, baked potatoes roasted in the coals of a bonfire, sausages, wheels of cheese, marshmallows, cider and apple juice, tomato soup, apple and blackberry compote, rhubarb crumble, all richly decorated in sunset hues. Among the servings, anyone with a birthday in August or September will find themselves a individualized cake, perhaps with some motif to define them, otherwise just with the harvest decorations of gourds, leaves, wheat, and fruit. Alongside that, a new smaller maze has been made from hay bales on the lawn. During the day it's just a silly and fun maze, but at night it takes on a new form and characters can easily become lost and find themselves in a maze that seems to go on forever, with the ominous lowing of a bull somewhere in the distance. Luckily, everyone is released at daybreak, maybe a little traumatized, but all in one piece.

What would a festival be, without some games to indulge in? Around the celebratory grounds, there are four pumpkins painted gold, hidden around the festival. Anyone who finds one is entitled to a boon from your very generous hosts (join the race HERE). Hunting not to your tastes after the last few goose chases? No worries, there's plenty still to do β€” from apple bobbing, jumping over bonfires, throwing discus/shotput, horseshoes, and more, it's a festival jam packed with games and prizes to be won, from little jars of handmade jam from France, to stuffed chicken plushies, to tin cans with the labels ripped off, full of ... well, it's anyone's guess, really. Crack it open and find out!

In honor of the handfasting ceremony, characters are selected at random and tied together at the wrist, much to everyone's amusement. Once knotted, the ribbon will not give way under any physical or magical duress, meaning you'll be stuck together until the tie undoes on its own. It could be day, a night, two nights, or more, but it seems like the ribbon is waiting for something in particular β€”Β a genuine heart to heart, maybe? Consummating the marriage? Hopefully you like the person you're tied to, because you're going to be spending a lot of time with your temporary spouse, in immediately close quarters.

At the end of the week, there's a final end of summer ceremony, wherein the vampire ARMAND is given special homage for being an especially adored guest, donned in floral regalia and ordained with crowns of flowers, much to his growing malcontent. In fact, he and all the vampires present in house seem to be given the regal treatment from the staff with less grand flower crowns of their own, honored at the head of the festival's final gluttonous table, lined with naked, giggling bodies covered in autumnal produce, sprouting mushrooms, blooming flowers, and distinctly meaty dishes β€” steak and kidney pie, blood sausage, pumpkins stuffed with zebra meat. It's only after you drink the wildflower tea and locally (Very, Locally) crafted beer that things start to feel a little off. The happy bodies used as serving platters look sometimes, between one blink and the next, like masticated corpses, the gourds and fruits set more deeply in the cornucopia their opened chest cavities make. Despite that, there's no real sense of death in the air β€” get a better look, and you might find the veins of the dead work more like the vines for the plants, giving them life.

The question becomes: which is the hallucination? The smiling faces or the blooming corpses?

Though hysteria rankles through the crowd the more people come to terms with the visions they're seeing, given the population at the head of the table, it's a fairly easy riddle to crack. Can vampires eat the cursed food? In short: yes, they can. Sorry we made you eat people again.



DIRECTORY


sterilize: (Default)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-19 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
( retracing her steps means walking past the open space of the party, now more populated by people watching the fireworks show overhead. eunyu watches them with envy disguised as disgust β€” attractive white people in skimpy bathing suits, feeling each other up under the romantic mood hues of neon lights. she managed to avoid the neon paint with her death glare upon entry, but seeing it now on thin waists and thick muscles makes her β€” she doesn't know what. weirdly tense, a part of her that's been deadened for a long time and thought to atrophy over the years, after chief ji's husband, rising back from the grave.

not something she has any interest in exploring, in any case. the whole situation is uncomfortable. knowing the monster hyunsu is watching it too, watching her watch it, is nerve wracking. she slides back into the pool room, shouldering between people, not bothering to see if hyunsu is following because she knows he will be. except. on a hunch she remembers the bracelet essentially saying hyunsu is free for the picking, looking anxiously over her shoulder to see men and women fawning over hyunsu and hyunsu's chest, which makes her β€” again, she doesn't know what. jealous, maybe. she stomps up to him, bravely puts her hand in his, and pulls him forward, into her.

the music is still loud, so he only hears the tail end of her question,
) β€” somewhere quiet?
leavening: (pic#17142618)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-19 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[At first it's easy to keep up with her. His legs are longer, after all. But as they reach the thickest part of the crowd he starts to get waylaid. It's easy for Eunyu's petite form to slip through the mass of bodies, but Hyunsu stands out too much, apparently, with his height and the extra bulk of his muscles. It's not long before he's being crowded and pushed back. Ogled and caressed.

It's annoying, actually. It was fine when Eunyu touched him. Acceptable, even. Preferred, if he's honest. But everyone else here is obnoxious and he can feel his agitation rising as he tries to keep Eunyu in his sight, but these people don't seem to care he's not interested in them. He's about two seconds away from starting to physically toss people aside and maybe releasing his wing to try to take a swipe at them, when Eunyu is back in his space with her hand in his.

He only catches part of her question, but he understands enough to agree. Really, even if he hadn't understood any of it he would have agreed. He nods once.]


Yeah.

[And then he will roughly shove past any lingering party goers trying to slow them down.]
sterilize: (Default)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-19 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
( roles reversed, now she crowds in behind him, exactly the kind of person to be charmed by roughhousing and a generally pissy demeanor. not that she's charmed. monster hyunsu is just the lesser of two evils when it comes to getting out of the public eye, although she does clench his hand tighter when the populace bottle necks through the door, seeking comfort through the worst of the crowd as they wind their way through, not trusting any of them but the person directly in front of her. it's a long walk down a hall in some direction before the music is quiet enough to hear herself think, stepping in beside hyunsu again and, belatedly, dropping his hand.

the quiet makes her feel weirder about not wearing pants, but she's not sure how she's supposed to find her room again anyway, and doesn't feel like drawing hyunsu's attention to it. instead, she stuffs her hands in the pouch of her hoodie, weighing it down as far as it'll go, turning her head to face him while she follows where he leads.
)

If it isn't the monsters, what's wrong with this place? I know we can't leave.
leavening: (pic#17144231)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-19 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
[He glances down at his now empty hand, strangely and acutely aware of the loss of warmth provided by her hand gripping his. Then his gaze finds his way to her and he watches her with the same quiet fascination that he always feels when he's alone with her.

It's a little distracting that she's not wearing pants, actually. Or maybe a lot distracting. Still, his mind manages to tune in and listen when she asks her question. He tilts his head thoughtfully, as he considers it. Really, his impression of this place so far is based largely on vibes. It's weird and his instincts are telling him it's wrong and he's heard whispers that confirm it, but it's not like he can offer her solid proof at the moment.]


It's messed up. The rooms move around sometimes. There's one room that's made entirely of meat.

[Seriously, what is up with that? Even his monster self thinks that's fucked up.]

People talk about strange things happening. And I think there are monsters, they're just different from the ones back home.

[People also get really horny, but she's seen that for herself already.]
sterilize: (Default)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-19 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
( well that's β€” gross. her eyebrows knit together, imagining something close to the pulsing, fleshy webs some monsters make with their bodies, trying to forget the memory scent that curls up her nose. if hyunsu won't compliment this place, eunyu can at least offer it this: it's tidy, with running water and actual cooked meals. it feels like forever since she ate something not from a can. )

Are you being vague on purpose? That didn't tell me anything.

( she rolls her eyes. speaking of. their lazy wandering leads them into the kitchen, which is all just as well, because eunyu needs to repack her supplies after losing them to the manor's wards. inside, she finds a backpack one of the workers must've left near the door, turning it over to empty out on the floor, lazily picking through the spilled contents before picking a few pens and 5 hour energy bottles, before tossing the bag at hyunsu. )

Hold that.

( while she goes through the massive kitchen and tosses out a bunch of things she wants β€” easy meals, dozens of poptarts, packaged things with easy instructions β€” to store away. eventually she gets to the fridge, and sees some leftovers that'll probably be food for the horses in the morning, because she can't imagine anyone in this place actually using a microwave. she fingers back the plastic wrap, eyeing the container before pulling it out, setting it on one of the work benches.

forks are collected from somewhere. she holds one out.
) Hungry? It's salmon, I think.
leavening: (pic#17310194)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-19 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
No. [He says, vaguely defensive before immediately deflating into something more sullen.] I told you what I could. I haven't been here that long either.

[He supposes he can't just ask her to trust his monster instincts. He huffs and is most definitely not pouting as he follows her into the kitchen and catches the bag she throws at him. He blinks, glancing down at the bag and then looking back at Eunyu as she starts to explore.

His gaze lingers on her as she wanders around the kitchen, although when her hoodie rides precariously high up on her thighs as she reaches for something he glances away for a moment. Then he tells himself not to be a coward and shifts his gaze back to her...only to find her bent over, and...

She knows she's not wearing pants, right? That's the sort of thing a person notices, isn't it? That they're aware of. Ignoring the fact that Hyunsu himself has almost forgotten that he is wearing a mostly sheer, not entirely buttoned up beach shirt that is doing literally nothing to hide flush creeping up his neck.

That's different though, he got used to being naked in that stupid lab.

By the time Eunyu turns her attention back to him, Hyunsu is so busy trying to figure out where he's supposed to be looking that he almost misses the offer of food. He blinks a few times at the fork she's offering him, trying to clear his head, before taking it.]


Oh. Sure. Yeah.
sterilize: (pic#17471249)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
( she helps herself up onto the table, tucking one ankle behind the other. ideally this would probably be warm, but eunyu has learned over time that beggars can't be choosers, and if the difference between a cold meal and no meal is a microwave, she knows what she's choosing. she's about to dig in too, except hyunsu's reaction belatedly catches her attention, making her eyes snap up to him.

in one swift move, she has the prongs of her fork poised at his jugular. she presses in β€” not enough to bruise, but not nicely either. a quick jab. like she's trying to fork up his blush and eat it.
)

What's that about?
leavening: (pic#17308119)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
[Hyunsu isn't scared. There's no way he'd be afraid of a human holding a fork to his neck. That's not a threat, that's a joke. But he still freezes, because it's Eunyu. Because even like this he doesn't want to hurt her, even if he doesn't fully understand why he feels like that.

It's also...kind of hot, actually. Which he doubts is the reaction she wants and thinking about it is just going to get him into more trouble. He's very aware that there is probably no right answer to this question. But he thinks lying and saying it's nothing would be worse because Eunyu would be able to tell and she doesn't trust easily.

He licks his lips, which suddenly feel very dry, and keeps his gaze on her face.]


Your legs.

[And her ass, if he wants to be really specific, but he is making some effort to not make this worse than it absolutely has to be.]
sterilize: (pic#17471250)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Huh?

( her brows tie together in a confused knot, the fork not losing pressure on his throat until she glances down and remembers β€”Β she has bare skin pressed against the metal table tops, thighs distantly chilly from soaking up the cold. oh. she doesn't let herself get embarrassed, even if her shoulders roll to fight off the weird not-quiet insecurity that charges her veins when she looks back up to him, fork still pressed. in place.

what's most strange to her, is that she managed to forget at all. that putting clothes on hasn't been a priority, for however briefly she thought about it before. hyunsu is hyunsu. he could hurt everyone in the world, but he'd never hurt her.
)

You've never seen a pair of legs before?

( the fork moves up, digging into the line of his jaw, a little like how someone would use a gun to prop someone's chin, to catch their attention. she's not sure why she does it, really. because hyunsu is responsive, or because she isn't scared in any way that isn't thrilling. a science experiment. biology.

curious,
) You weren't around when Hyunsu saw me dance. Do you have that memory?
leavening: (pic#17308187)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
[Yes, he's seen legs before. But not her legs. Not like this. But he's pretty sure that's a rhetorical question. And even if it wasn't...he's distracted by the prongs of the fork dragging along his jaw line. Again, he's not scared. It doesn't hurt.

He is aroused, though.

He focuses on her words and the sound of her voice. Which, in fact, does nothing to lessen his body's reaction to her. His heart is pounding in his chest and he can't quite stop his breath from catching in his throat when she pushes the fork a little more firmly into his flesh.

His hands grip the edge of the counter as he tries to think, forcing himself to focus, even though this is really not the part of Hyunsu's consciousness that likes to think. But he's intrigued by the question. He searches his mind, trying to access Hyunsu's human memories. Most of them are a distant blur unless bullying and parental neglect are involved. Or the death of his family, of course. Those are the things that manifested this part of Hyunsu in the first place so he can see them clearly enough. And while he feels like he's always been aware of Eunyu, he can't quite find the first few times she and Hyunsu met, before the curse really took hold.

Finally he shakes his head once, perhaps a questionable decision with a fork pressed into his chin, but he doesn't complain.]


No. It must have been happy memory.
Edited (ok im done) 2024-10-20 01:33 (UTC)
sterilize: (pic#17474843)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
( suddenly this feels like an interrogation. only on the surface level though β€” eunyu knows if hyunsu wanted he could unfork and pin her, so a blunt threat is only slightly more useless than a sharp one. she still keeps up the pose, looking at the rushing blood in hyunsu's neck with interest. there's a lot of little things the doctors that beat him probably figured out in his time in confinement β€”Β his resting heart rate, his breath under pressure. it's a little thrilling to know a monster's heart can race just like a human's.

the ultimate answer surprises eunyu, head tilted. she can admit to never asking about how their dynamic works before, more intentional about getting rid of the monster and gaining back hyunsu, that she never really considered there might be more than just an obstacle to find inside the monster. well. that and using the benefits of his superpowered body whenever the need struck. maybe this is how they reach an agreement with the monster and get hyunsu back β€”Β making him satisfied or happy enough to willingly go back inside.
)

You don't have any happy memories?

( she lessens her fork threat until she pulls it back, into her lap. she isn't sure she'd describe it as a happy memory β€” to eunyu, is was a farewell to all her long suffering hopes and dreams, while also telling the cute, new guy in the apartment building to go kill himself somewhere more convenient. still, she's a little warm at the thought it might be happy for hyunsu. )

Should we make one?
leavening: (pic#17466702)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't know how to answer that first question. Does he have happy memories as he is now? Does he even know how to classify experiences as happy? Seeing Eunyu again, talking to her, those things are exciting. Is that happiness?

He's not sure.

If her first question was just difficult to answer, though, the follow up actually surprises him. He stares at her, his bright blue eye dilated as he tries to make sense of this. Is she...talking about eating salmon together? It doesn't really sound like that's what she's talking about. But a lot of bloodflow has recently been redirected from his brain to his cock, so how clearly he's thinking is up in the air.

The last time he was in this state and dared to look at her lips he got headbutted in the face. Which, honestly, he's not mad about, but it also makes him doubt that her reaction to him at the moment could be the same as his reaction to her.

In the end he decides not to make assumptions and just try to follow her lead.]


Is that what you want?
Edited (typo idk) 2024-10-20 02:31 (UTC)
sterilize: (pic#)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
( the sharp twang of tension between them is as physical as the fork in her hand β€”Β like eunyu could reach out and pluck it with her fingertips, if she wasn't cemented in place by his eyes. it's a lot like when he first woke up, the moment spiraling out between them. but, it's different, too. she'd been afraid of him then, and it's not that she isn't afraid of him now, but she knows there are boundaries and where they lay between them. she knows hyunsu, even monster hyunsu, will protect her for reasons seemingly unknown but completely doubtless. she knows he's cruel, but not without reasons. she knows on the sliding scale of morality, he's definitely gray but leaning on the white side. very slightly.

mostly, she knows he's hyunsu. one aspect of him, but still that boy who protected her, who came back, who wouldn't let her be alone. so.

he's only scary from what he can do. not necessarily who he is. she gives a shrug.
)

Don't know. Depends on what it is. ( she's not inside the moment enough to not have contingency plans. she knows who she's talking to β€” that's the whole point. ) If killing someone would make you happy, no. It's not what I want.

Other things could be what I want, though.
leavening: (pic#17311077)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
[He continues to watch her, that fascination he always feels with her growing by the second, but he doesn't let himself touch her. Even though, this is exactly the sort of thing he'd berate his human self for doing. Not taking what he wants. But at the same time, he's enjoying this tension. He likes to listen to her talk and watch her mind work.

The corners of his mouth pull upward slightly at her explanation.]


I don't want to kill anyone.

[Not at the moment, anyway. He was tempted earlier, when the crowd wouldn't leave him alone, but she had stopped him, grabbing his hand before it got that far. The thought of killing hadn't really entered his mind since that moment, and it's definitely not what's on his mind now]
Edited (removed redundant wording) 2024-10-20 03:25 (UTC)
sterilize: (pic#17474843)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Other things, then.

( she considers. the moment drags out a little longer, like two predatory animals eyeing each other, waiting for the other to make the move. only β€” eunyu knows hyunsu won't do it. it has to be her.

after a moment of indecision, she hefts herself off the table and onto her feet, taking the few steps it takes to stand in front of him, effectively crowding him in against the table despite her size. the extended quiet carries on, eunyu looking up at him, really seeing him β€” letting him see a little trepidation in her expression, but no real doubt. blindly, she finds his hand again and, after a second, links their pinkies together int he scatn space between their stomachs.
)

This is a promise.
leavening: (pic#17144232)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[There’s a strange sense of deja vu as he lets her take his hand again, his gaze drifting slowly from her face down to their now linked pinkies.

Something like this has happened before, and this side of him existed then, but was new and not in control. There’s a sense of warmth associated with the memory even though it feels distant and fleeting at the moment.

He leaves his pinky linked with hers, making no move to pull away, but he does lift his gaze back to her face, tilting his head slightly. ]


What promise?

[He can't quite remember the first one. Or...it was a secret, wasn't it? Something like that. He's not sure if this one is different.]
sterilize: (pic#17471254)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
( it feels a very adolescent thing to do β€” she felt like a girl the last time she crossed pinkies with hyunsu, a hundred years younger, willingly accepting her world was the lobby of their apartment building. compared to where she is now, her younger self almost looks idealistic, optimistic. dreamy, soaked up in some dumb crush. she frowns and looks at their hands, bringing her free one up to manipulate hyunsu's thumb to press against hers. this is familiar, too. reliving some memory. she almost expects eunhyuk to interrupt them and ruin the moment.

he doesn't. it's just them. eunyu is in hindsight a little thrilled at what she might've done if eunhyuk didn't interrupt their first promise, and likewise a little affronted by her current self showing restraint in going forward. anyway, she's not giggling or laughing at him now β€”Β her expression is serious and intense and a little watery, like she forgot how to be charming, if she ever was.
)

It means ... ( there's little appeal in hiding secrets from hyunsu now β€”Β anything could happen tomorrow, and he'd never know, and she'd have to hate herself for it. ) When I'm ready to take what I want from you, you'll let me have it.

( her free hand moves up and catches his face, holding him in place. with intention: )

You know what I mean, right?
leavening: (pic#17467220)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[If Eunyu forgot how to be charming, Hyunsu doesn't seem to notice, because he is, in fact, thoroughly charmed. He stares at her, searching her face, his eyes bright and blue and intrigued.

He does know what she means, because this part of Hyunsu manifested from three things: Trauma, rage and desire. Sure, the desires that created him weren't necessarily this type, but still, on a fundamental level he understands wanting. There are things he wants right now. Running his fingers through her hair, for instance, or pressing their bodies together, maybe to bury his face in her neck.

But he doesn't do any of that, because that's not what this is about. It's about what she wants. When he first woke up and asked her what she wanted, he had been honestly curious. Unfortunately for him what she wanted at that moment was apparently to hit him in the face. Now she's talking about something different and it's interesting and new. Fun in a way that he's unaccustomed to.

His gaze flickers to her lips and then back to her eyes and he hums softly, affirmative.]


I'll give you whatever you want.
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[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh whatever I want? Really?

( she scoffs, maybe the closest she's gotten to a laugh in any time recent, immediately thinking a palace, a million dollars, my brother back. part of her wants to say something ludicrous just to listen to him tell her no, but the bigger part of her knows that as much as he's taking care of her safety, she should look out after him, too. not make a joke of the offering, but put it in her pocket like a coupon for a rainy day.

viper quick, she pushes up on her ballerina tip toes and presses a kiss on the underside of his jaw where she can reach. eunyu drops their pinkies and immediately pretends like nothing happened, taking back her seat and digging into the salmon with a kind of hunger that can only be born for apocalypse settings and the general additive of feeling at ease.
)

Hm. We met on the roof of our building. I was dancing β€” I used to be a ballerina. You were going to kill yourself. ( she says this a little crassly, with nonchalance. his monster side surely must be aware. ) I asked you a bunch of questions, and you only ever said, "No." Did you make a mess up here? No. Do you want a cigarette? No. Are you a loner? All silent. ( a knowing look. ) I said handsome men shouldn't be loners, or something. You didn't take me seriously. ( she juts the fork in his direction again, more for emphasis than stabbing. ) I was serious. If you were a little more charming, I would've waited until my brother left and brought you back to my apartment.

I'm not bragging, but it would've been better than killing yourself.
Edited 2024-10-20 22:55 (UTC)
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[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[Between her near mocking words, the kiss on his jaw and then the sudden absence of her as she pulls away it takes a few seconds for Hyunsu's mind to catch up with what's going on. He blinks rapidly a few times, confused, as the words she's saying starts to sink in.

She's recounting when they met, something he doesn't quite remember, although as she describes it he can see flashes of it, distant though they are.]


I didn't kill myself.

[He points out, because he didn't. Whether he remembers clearly right now or not, that much is obvious. What she had said and done on the roof that day had been enough to stay Hyunsu's hand at least for awhile. Whether she took him back to her apartment that day or not, he lived. He's still alive.

He tilts his head as he watches her eat. Beyond the reminder that he didn't actually commit suicide, he doesn't argue that the human side of him can be pathetic and lame, he's very aware. He's even pointed out to her himself that he's weak, but she stood up for him.]


You say all that like you're complaining, but that's the Cha Hyunsu you want back, isn't it?
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[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-20 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
( there's a thoughtful wait, eunyu sucking contemplatively on her fork while she considers the question. there's nothing about hyunsu's tone that suggests it's a particularly pointed question, but she feels the importance of it regardless, the weight that it holds. eventually, she leans back on her palms, eyes going up to the ceiling, pulling her words right out of the fluorescence. )

Yeah. ( she can't deny that. ) Ah. Well.

( but it's not the full truth of it. she thinks about the paper eunhyuk wrote when he started having symptoms, and thinks about what she would've done if he went through them with her. she wouldn't have been reasonable about it β€” she wouldn't have killed him, not in a million years. the monster still would've been eunhyuk, the way hyunsu is still hyunsu. )

They say monsterization is a curse. You're not a parasite or an infection, or anything new. There isn't anything in you that wasn't already there to begin with. Isn't that the truth? ( the science of it is all a little over her head and out of her expertise, if she's honest. but the point, ) I think ... all I want is Hyunsu. And I think you're a part of that. You're just β€” repressing the softer half of you, maybe. I don't know how it works. ( with a huff of a breath. ) I'd be happy if I could have both. I won't stop fighting for that.
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[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-20 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[He almost didn't expect her to answer. He wouldn't have been surprised if she'd gotten defensive and yelled at him. But she doesn't do that. She gives it real consideration and responds honestly.

And he listens, watching her, taking in her body language, the subtle ways her facial expressions shift when she speaks. She may be on to something, whether he wants to admit it or not. If Cha Hyunsu represses the rage inside him to keep the monster at bay, it's possible that the monster is simply doing the opposite. But even this part of Hyunsu doesn't feel any real rage toward Eunyu the way he does at the rest of humanity. He feels frustration sometimes, maybe, but it's different. It comes from a different place.

His anger is a result of mistreatment and neglect, the fact that no one helped him when they should have. But Eunyu is different. In her own way she's always tried to encourage him and be there for him. She did what she could with what she had and that was more than anyone else had ever done for him.

Finally, after a moment of reflection, he responds:]


I could be soft. For you.
sterilize: (Default)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-21 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
( it feels like some bargain he's offering β€”Β i can be like him, so you don't need him, really. it's interesting, if only because it shows hyunsu's hand so obviously, and that the thing he wants is apparently her. she debates what to make of that, flickering her eyes all over his expression, eye to eye and nose to mouth. honestly, soft isn't exactly the right word for him, any of him. he's just β€”Β kind. not nice, not sweet, but bottomlessly and endlessly kind. enough that he followed her around in the shadows for a year, like he somehow knew her greatest fear was being left behind, and he didn't want her to be afraid. even his monster doesn't want her to be afraid, she thinks. )

I thought you would say that was weak.

( eunyu doesn't think so. if anything, hyunsu is the opposite.

clenching her jaw a little, she gestures him over to her with grabby fingers, encouraging him to stand in front of her, between her legs bent over the edge of the table.
)

Prove it. ( how soft can he be? eunyu doesn't think it's wise to tempt any kind of monster, but hyunsu is different for all the aforementioned reasons. having him close isn't anything but a comfort. ) Stand here and close your eyes.
leavening: (pic#17153581)

[personal profile] leavening 2024-10-21 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[It's not weak when he's the one choosing it, obviously. Or something like that. To be honest, he's not really interested in examining it too much. It doesn't matter, really. He meant what he said and he's not interested in taking it back.

He watches the muscle in her jaw clinch as she makes her decision and when she tells him to prove it he pushes himself smoothly away from the counter, moving to stand between her legs just like she directed.

The hardest part is closing his eyes. Not necessarily because he's afraid (even if she decided to stab him, it's not like it would kill him), but because he likes looking at her. In the end, of course, he obeys, and closes his eyes. If nothing else, he's curious.]


Now what?
sterilize: (pic#17474843)

[personal profile] sterilize 2024-10-21 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
( he's just hyunsu with his eyes closed. the same guy who almost killed himself on the day they met, the same one who made a pinky promise with him in a stairwell at the end of the world. the same one who protected her for a year because he didn't want to disappoint her with the reality of who he is. he's on a level with her now, his face right there. small hands reach up and palm back his hair, thumbs following the hollows of his cheeks. stroking over the dips and heights of his face, the tip of his nose, his soft eyelids, the pink smudge of his mouth. she lets out a thoughtful hum while she strokes at him, a little like she's wielding a paintbrush in had, coating him in her affection. )

You like it when I touch you?

( her voice is low, suggestive. testing the water. )

Keep them closed.

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