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π–˜π–†π–‘π–™π–‡π–šπ–—π–“π–™ π–’π–”π–‰π–˜. ([personal profile] saltburntmods) wrote in [community profile] draino2025-01-04 08:00 am
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π“π‡πˆπ’ πˆπ’ 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 β–£ JAN TDM





JANUARY 2025 TDM: IMMORTALITY


Welcome to SALTBURNT, a panfandom smut/thriller game based off the film Saltburn, where characters are encouraged to indulge their deepest desires. The money never runs out and the liquor never stops pouring, so you may as well indulge from the bounty. Of course, things are rarely what they seem, and the manor itself seems to have a consciousness of its own. Throw parties, trash the house, engage in youthful merriment, but remember β€” dangers come out at night, and no one, no matter how rich you are, is safe from demons lurking in the shadows.

Threads can be considered game canon, provided the players agree. Players can also start fresh upon acceptance into the game. In game characters can post to the TDM directly, using Β« NEW CHARACTER/IN GAMEΒ» in the header. There will be a spot below for new characters to link their toplevels for easy access. Alternatively, prompts on the Test Drive can be used for in game logs.







WELCOME TO SALTBURNT


It's the hangover more than the light streaming in through half drawn curtains that wakes you up, your brain rattling in your skull, your mouth dry and cottony, your stomach churning with whatever it is you drank last night. If self preservation is your strong suit, you might turn over in bed and see a few painkillers laid out for you on a silver dish, accompanied by a glass of water. If it isn’t, stay in bed and wallow β€” eventually a maid will be in to tear your curtains open, saying, "Breakfast is served," and scurrying out quietly, invisibly. Breakfast? Maybe it’s normal for you. Maybe it isn’t.

You're drawn from the room, either by the mystery, or an undefinable urge that could be supernatural in origin, or could be your hunger catching up to you. It's almost nostalgic, the walk to the dining room β€” have you been here before? Were you drawn up to this estate in a car? Haven’t you done all this already? Maybe you mosey around a library, maybe you run into your suite mate in your adjoining bathroom. Regardless, seemingly all hallways, covered in priceless artworks and ancient relics from times long past, lead to the dining room, where a comically long table houses the Balfours and their many guests, some who seem just as disgruntled and confused as you. No matter. "Breakfast will be out in a minute," they say. What's that?

EDIT SEPTEMBER 2024: For those who have attended breakfast with the Balfours before, a change in routine might come as a shock, given how rarely they stray from form. However, as of September, the menu has been redone by some guests in the manor. In place of the self-serve style breakfast, there is an elevated menu, including: a self-serve juice bar, with pitchers of various juiced fruit and vegetables, shaved ice, coconut water, green and black tea syrups, potted microherbs, sliced whole berries, and finger limes. There is also, naturally, liquor and champagne available. Guests can make their own drinks, or ask the allocated staff member to serve them one of the "specials" if they're feeling adventurous.

That said, these are world class chefs, so the gold is really in the menu:
THE EGGS

𝐓𝐇𝐄 π‰πŽππ“π˜: one runny boiled egg shelled and recoated in edible gold leaf, seated on a throne of fried bread soldiers, plated with whipped butter and italian parsley.
𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐒 ππ„ππ„πƒπˆπ‚π“: vinegar poached eggs with hollandaise foam on a bed of toasted freekah and baby spinach.
𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐒 π’π‡π€πŠπ€π’π‡πŽπ”πŠπ€: two eggs poached in a ramekin of pureed tomato, served with a crispy grilled cheese cut to dip.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 π’π˜πƒππ„π˜: french omelette with a light cheese filling, topped with crushed potato chips and chives.
πŽπ„π”π…π’ ππ‘πŽπ”πˆπ‹π‹π„π’: fluffy scrambled eggs in brown butter, served on sourdough.
π’ππ€ππˆπ’π‡ 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓: mini-quiche made with caramelized red onions and jamon pata negra ham.
𝐄𝐆𝐆 πŒπ‚π’π€ππƒπ–πˆπ‚π‡: bacon, egg, cheese and sausage breakfast muffin that tastes weirdly like it was made at a popular chain with golden arches.

THE SWEETS

❖ momofuku's "cereal milk" ❖
❖ fette biscottate with a sour cherry jam and peanut floss ❖
❖ a warm cinnamon bun served with a shot of espresso coffee for dipping ❖
❖ a macadamia-marzipan croissant with a wattleseed and burnt-honey filling ❖
❖ poffertjes with a liquid nutella injection ❖


If you want to leave, you’ll have to tell Giles, the housekeeper, who will arrange a car for you that mysteriously, or perhaps suspiciously, never arrives. Unfortunately, confronting Giles about it is near impossible, as he’s as good at being invisible as the rest of the house staff. Of course, there’s no reason why you can’t just walk out. The front gates are easy enough to jump over, even if the walk towards them gives you a strange sense of foreboding, or just outright discomfort, as if the ground itself doesn’t want you to leave. Those more sensitive or fragile might find they can’t make the jump, no matter how physically able, or desperately wanting. Still, a strong person could continue on, over the fence and into the lush English countryside. The feeling doesn’t dissipate, though β€” this sense of wrongness, almost sickness, like a weight on your back. Walk into the evergreen, carry on, but the strongest will make it perhaps a mile or so before the weight of dread and paranoia brings you to your knees, and then to your face, flat in the middle of a dirt road. What were you thinking? Is this really better?

Wake up with a hangover, in a bed, the curtains drawn, the maid saying, "Breakfast is served," before scurrying out. The painkillers are there, just like you remember. In fact, it’s all exactly how you remember, as if you never left an imprint the first time, or any mess you made was cleared away while your back was turned. Walk to the dining room, find everyone there eating away at their breakfast.

"We dress for dinner," says Portia, with a kind, if discerning smile. "Black tie."




8-BALL

CONTENT WARNINGS: drugs, nsfw.

In all 700 (and change!) years of Saltburnt's existence, never has the new year been rung in with anything less than a bang. Similarly, the manor is a bustle of activity in the post-Christmas week, setting up predominately in and around the Operating Theatre. Formally, all guests are welcomed to celebrate on the 31st of December leading into the new year by a fancy, handwritten invitation, delivered individually by Giles. BLACK TIE, the invite says. LET'S MAKE IT A GOOD YEAR, DAWG.

Upon arrival, it's plain to see the Operating Theatre has gotten a glow up since last visited. The amphitheater stairs serve as a dramatic entrance to walk through, the main floor usually designed for holding cadavers for dissection instead replaced with a dance floor. Everything is black, white, and as silver as surgery tools, the room seemingly a great deal larger than when it was last observed β€”Β though, maybe that's your eyes playing tricks on you. Don't worry about it!

Celebrate instead, ringing in the new year with loud, Eurodance music and American rock, bodies dancing together for one last hurrah of 2006. In true Saltburnt fashion, there's a snack spread on the organized operating tables β€”Β Vietnamese spring rolls, glass noodles, Prosecco jello shots to go with the tall flutes of champagne passed around on silver plates. Additionally, there are some silver platters circling the venue full of tall mounds of white, powdery cocaine, already spliced into lines for convenience. The name of the game is indulgence, as ever, getting one's worst habits out of the way to make room for better, healthier choices in the new year.

For the last hour of the year, a mock time ball in the shape of an magic 8-ball is set up in the center of the room, slowly inching up as time ticks down. At 11:59, the ball reaches its zenith, much more rapidly moving the other way as the countdown starts. Once the countdown drops to the 10s, everyone in the room is pairing up in couples (or trios?) to kiss at the strike of midnight, loudly chanting the last five numbers in chanting succession, 3, 2, 1, and happy new year!

Several things happen at once, following your kiss, or the strike of midnight if you're more of a lone wolf. Firstly, everyone's clothes disappear, left completely naked in the theatre. Any fabric they might think to dress themselves in will miraculously disappear once they put it on, and any attempts to escape the room are likewise barred, doors unopenable for the time being. At the same time, the 8-ball which reached the bottom of its stand rolls over, presenting its windowed side to all who look upon it β€”Β and all who look upon it will see one of 20 different instructions.

For a fun game, roll a d20 and see what you get!



































Naturally, the doors only permit you to leave after achieving whatever challenge the 8-ball gave you, where you can run nakedly back to your room and find some clothes, saying goodnight to a wonderful year. Any and all party poopers uninterested in taking part will be let go an hour or so post midnight β€”Β approximately when it stops being funny.






NEW YEAR, NEW ME


CONTENT WARNINGS: homophobia, misogyny, implied grooming, cultural insensitivity.

New year is a time for new beginnings, and it's no surprise that many resolutions involve the bettering of one's self. Exercise and eating healthy are all usual suspects, but what if you could take a little something that did it all for you, effort-free? New Years Resolutions the easy way β€”Β try ReSculpt, an organic supplement using exotic kinds of sea kelp, as provided by Portia's personal life coach SHAMAN LEAF, for making a better you. Fat melts away and wrinkles smooth out, complexions clear and muscles strengthen, all with the help of this miraculous product! Simply apply the topical ointment on yourself, and watch a new and improved you emerge β€” even those of you who wouldn't choose it willingly can take part, as it's stocked in every bathroom, in the shape of an ordinary lotion bottle.

Of course, it doesn't only effect your looks. The road to a better you requires a full makeover, changing you from the inside out. Be the son your father always wanted, or the wife your husband deserves β€” become a better partner, a better housewife, a better soldier, a better friend. Whatever any of that means to you, whether changing your style or the people you're attracted to, this magical lotion seems to clear it up and straighten you out, turn you into a true, decent member of polite upperclass society. Even Portia in the days following New Years appears younger, nearly like a girl in her teens thanks to the power of ReSculpt. On your journey to self-improvement, you might feel inclined to sign up for Shaman Leaf's 12-step guide to proper English behaviors, including lessons in etiquette, fine dining, lovemaking with respectful hands-on accompaniment, and a suggested sizable donation on towards Shaman Leaf's travel fund. All of it concludes in a graduation for the enlistees in the form of a debutante ball.

Not to worry if you didn't take the course β€” all are welcome to witness the caterpillar become the butterfly in this re-introduction to society in one of Saltburnt's many exemplary ballrooms. As opposed to the more carefree party that welcomed in the year, the debutante ball is steeped in the premeditated societal structures of an aristocratic family, everything proper and regal by design, complete with huge, expensive dresses and expertly tailored, starch-collared suits. Luckily, ReSculpt will see to everyone conforming to the expectations of society, without complaint. Unluckily, the side effects seem to kick in at the debutante ball.

Step one: paranoia. Is this who you really are? What happened to the person you were a few days ago? Where did everything that made you who you are go? Dread creeps in, a discordant note, a cold breeze. Step two: touch repulsion. The dances at the ball are all respectful, leaving plenty of room for Jesus, flirty little wrist touches and soft, careful hands β€” and you're disgusted by wanting more, confused by it. Consumed by it? Scared of it. The sick touch of skin on skin is as offensive as it is arousing, like gripping ice cubes in your hand and flinching at the numbing, burning pain. Step three: hallucinations. You turn in a dance and the hand that slips into yours is more bone than flesh. The ballroom itself seems to grow more decayed than decadent, ghosts and horrifying faces spliced between the crowd, all looking at you, angry and disturbed. Is that face looking back at you your own? Can your friends tell you from a doppelgΓ€nger? Who even are you anymore?

And finally, step four: rehab. As it turns out, Shaman Leaf is not actually a good guy. That is, he's not a guy at all but a pΓΊca, here to unleash a humble amount of chaos and then quickly skedaddle while the iron's still hot, escaping with mischievous shapeshifting behaviors through the closest door, galloping to the forest. Though his exit from the premises doesn't clear up the effects of ReSculpt, it's nothing a little week spent very fashionably in rehab can't clear up. Going cold turkey is the only way to remove it from your system β€” and you do want to remove it from your system. A depleting supply will force you into withdrawals regardless, in the form of continued paranoia and hallucinations, acting hot and cold with touch, alternating between your true self and ReSculpt self, fevers, nosebleeds, puking, and blacking out. A good detox for the new year.



DIRECTORY


lychgate: (⚰️ 011.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-06 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's not unique to him, of course, but jack's always found cocaine to be the kind of drug you can't really put down once you get started. you gotta take it 'til there's none left in the room. the second the server comes back around, he's bouncing on the balls of his feet, impatiently waiting for his turn. he takes his line when iggy's had his, shakes out his hands, runs his fingers through his hair when he's done. ]

Jackie! Jackie. Centralia's the...

[ vwhoom, he says, making a motion with his hands that can only mean 'big big fire'. he runs his hands back through his hair again, faster, this time, making it a little messier. ]

You think the dead feel shame? I dunno, man, I always just thought they felt like - worms or rot or whatever. Dirt? Silk, if they've got one of those fancy ass coffins, I guess.
dead_tongue: (light shade)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-07 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
Jackie! [He snaps his long fingers and points.] Jackie, right! That's a great name, I love it.

Oh, I know they do! Not the bodies, though. Those don't feel anything.

[Sniff. Quick swipe of the nose. Practically vibrating in place.]

The souls, you know, some people get really hung up on shit. That's how you get ghosts.
lychgate: (⚰️ 006.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-07 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ iggy's pointing at him, but jackie's a dumbass, so he looks over his shoulder to see what's back there. nothin'. weird. he laughs. anyway, what? ]

You believe in ghosts?

[ shit, his dad was the same. his dad was weird, though. jackie's too buzzed to think twice about bringing up the fuckin' active serial killer shit he's got going on back home. where's that server gone? ]

My dad's biiiig into fucking around with the dead. Killin' dudes, messin' with their corpses, the whole shebang. Is that, like - I mean, is that relevant? Kinda felt like it when I started talking, but.
dead_tongue: (bruh)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-07 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
Honey, I was raised a Spiritualist. I've known more ghosts than I have living people!

[Iggy's eyes widen and he looks properly horrified.]

Oh my gosh, that's awful! I could never-- oh, gosh, he didn't make you help, did he? That's so traumatic. We really need a therapist here.
lychgate: (⚰️ 024.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-07 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. Shit, dude, that's cool, I guess. You ever meet anyone famous? Ghost-wise, I mean. Like - Elvis, if he really even died.

[ another vhwoom, but this time he's miming his mind exploding. he's mid-finger dazzle when Iggy starts worrying about him, and, slightly panicked, he waves off the concern with as much excessive hand flapping as the coke will provide. ]

No! No. It's good! It's fine. Therapy's sick, though. Dude, if my dad had therapy, he would've been, like, way less of a problem. I guess that's true of most dads, though.
dead_tongue: (bruh)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-07 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
No, no. But, uhm, I got to meet Dan Aykroyd! When I was little. He came to meet my family special, he was really nice! But alive.

[Iggy still looks concerned. But he nods.]

Yeah... yeah probably. Uhm. Although my dad's just a chiropractor, he's not really that messed up. My folks are actually, uhm, really in touch with their feelings and stuff. Very modern.

How many people did your dad kill?
lychgate: (⚰️ 023.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-07 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
That rules!! Man, SNL used to be so good. What happened there?

[ and he starts dancing, now, because he needs to get his body moving if he's going to keep talking about his family, or else he'll risk losing his buzz. ]

Uh, and, its - kind of hard to say? It's a big town. [ whatever that means. ] And he's, like, one of those rich, venture capitalist types, so. I mean, passively, he's probably killed a ton of people, being all wealthy and shit. Like, that money could go to curing terminal explosive bowel disease or some shit, but he's just using it to buy yachts. And then there's, like, the hands-on shit, obviously, which was... a whole thing. Like, there was this big mystery about this dead dude some kids found strung up on a church gate, and that turned out to be, uh...

[ ... his dad's work. um. he dances a little harder. krump krump krump. ]

But, uh, chiropractors aren't actually real doctors, right? Medically speaking. So. Maybe your dad's killed a couple people too! You know, just in the - like, if he put too much torque on a patient's... uh...

[ fuck, this is awkward. he dances even harder, arrhythmic and clunky, hair everywhere, sweat everywhere. he's making himself out of breath in the process, his words tumbling out of him red-faced and wheezy. why can't he shut up? why can't he shut up. ]

It's only a matter of time, is all I'm saying. Feels like - feels like all chiropractors face a manslaughter charge once or twice in their lifetime. Rite of passage.
dead_tongue: (u don't say)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-07 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
To SNL? Dunno. Time?

[Dancing seems like a fantastic idea, so Iggy joins. It feels good, even if this conversation is getting a little dark.]

So you grew up rich? That's pretty wild. But, uhm. It sounds like your dad was kinda... not just normal rich guy careless? If he's stringing corpses up, I mean. Was he in a cult or something?

[The irony of Iggy asking if someone was in a cult is lost on him.

Even zooted, he has rhythm. But he's also breathing hard soon enough. He's not athletic.]


No, no they're not MDs. My dad's never killed anyone, though. I guess if he did it would be awkward of him to invite the bereaved to church so they could say goodbye, huh? He probably would, though. I dunno. I love my dad, he's chill.
lychgate: (⚰️ 014.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-11 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[ time sucks. fuck time! always... fuckin', like, movin' and shit. jackie dances harder to spite time, and also in the name of old snl. ]

Kinda? I mean, I had a big house and shit, but by the time I came around most of the money had been spent on, like, weird political infighting between my older siblings. And cult stuff, yeah. Yachts, too, as I said. Dad's not gonna fuckin' give up his cult-y capitalist yacht money for anyone, man, dude's a tool.

[ he shrugs. not only that: he shrugs big. bigly. shoulders up, arms wide, the side of his hand hitting some nearby dancer when he propels his arms to his side like fake snakes in a can. neither he nor they seem to notice or care. ]

Your dad's not a tool, though. Your parents sound amazing, future potential manslaughter charges not withstanding. Sounds like you guys are tight - must suck pretty bad bein' here instead of back with them. Well, except for the coke, I guess.
dead_tongue: (nice boy)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-11 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
You're kidding! I tell you, this is something I know to be fact: money breaks up more families than pretty much anything else. People will forgive or ignore so much shit, but if money's involved? Nope.

[Iggy feels bad that someone should be stuck with a yacht owning murderer for a father. That sounds hard. Especially the latter part.]

I'm sorry your dad sucks. Do you need a hug? [Completely sincere.]

Oh, yeah, they're the best. I was, uhm, homeschooled? So I didn't really know any other kids, my mom was my absolute best friend! Which sounds lame but in a funny way I had no peer pressure so I grew up really openly and I didn't even really understand that half the stuff I liked was socially unacceptable? Like I had dolls. Mom and Dad didn't care. Like, sure son, we'll get you the Bratz dolls if that's what you want.

[Iggy's perpetual smile falters.]

Yeah... uhm. I actually haven't seen them in years. My mom disowned me, pretty much? When I moved out to go to art school. Did you go to school? How old are you, am I corrupting a minor?
lychgate: (⚰️ 016.)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-11 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[ another big ol' shrug. money! time! families! cults! what're you gonna do? he's about to launch into a long, babbling ramble about how money, like everything, is stupid and dumb - but then iggy's offering him a hug, and jackie laughs, slinging an arm over the dude's shoulder and reeling him in. ]

It's cool. I'm not that fucked up about it, honestly.

[ which is the truth, in a weird, detached sort of way, but that's too much to get into with a fuzzy nose and ringing ears. jackie's an intense hugger, it turns out. tight squeezes, pats on the back, big, comforting circles drawn between iggy's shoulderblades. ]

And - no, no, I'm twenty. I was s'posed to be going to college after highschool, but - y'know. Cults, murders, etcetera.

[ kinda saved his ass, too, given that he had and still has no idea on what to do with his life. wait, is he twenty or twenty-one? the look on his face, which is currently over iggy's shoulder due to the hug that still hasn't ended, says he's thinking, doublechecking, doing the math - but no, yes, okay, yes, he's twenty. he tightens the hug, still dancing a little, though the joy kind of leaves him when the conversation somehow finds a new way to feel heavy. he lets iggy go, dropping back on the heels of his feet. ]

M'sorry she did that to you. [ he scratches behind his own neck, not sure how to word the way he feels. he always seems to come off kind of insincere, but he never means to. ] At least I never liked my parents before they turned out to be tools. Must suck to have had a real connection only to lose it over something so stupid.

[ and then, mildly annoyed at this woman he's never met, he adds, bitter - ] If I had an artist for a kid, I'd be proud. Art's hard. You know what isn't? Fuckin' - chiropractory...ry...ing, I bet. Mushing around someone's spine til something pops. I could do that.
dead_tongue: (say cheese)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-12 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Intense is good, because Iggy hugs like it's his life purpose. He gives everything to it, good vibes practically rolling off of him.

When he's let go he looks cheerful again, warmed by the simple act of affection. (Is he a little starved for it? Maybe.)]


It's okay. My dad still talks to me sometimes. And no, that's not what Mom wanted for me, uhm. I said I was a Spiritualist, right? Well my family runs a church. They have for like, four generations? And I was supposed to take over. But I didn't want to, so... I ran off to the big city and became a sex worker and got my degree in visual arts! I was finishing my master's. It was awesome.

[He beams, sad thoughts banished.] Where are you from, anyway? Washington? Is that why you know the burning town stuff?
lychgate: dnt || all (Default)

[personal profile] lychgate 2025-01-17 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
You still do that here? I wanna see what you've got, man!

[ he's talking about art, not sex work. but. yknow. either/or. ]

And, uh, Colorado! So, like, basically Washington, if you go full Proclaimers and walk for eighteen hundred miles or so. I just know about weird shit because I read a lot, back in the day. Big library at home.

[ but he's clearly just rushing through his response, less interested in talking about himself, more bright-eyed and bushy tailed at the thought of talking about iggy than blathering on any more about his weird culty hometown. ]

So, like, what does a Spiritualist do, exactly? Other than meet as-of-yet-dead celebrities.
dead_tongue: (smiiiile)

[personal profile] dead_tongue 2025-01-18 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
I do! You should, you gotta! There's an art room, you should come do some stuff with me and my friend Theo!

Okay, okay, Colorado. I don't know much about Colorado except that you've got mountains, right? I love mountains. So beautiful.

And I love weird shit! I read some pretty weird shit too, I guess, although I didn't know it was weird at the time.

[Bouncing a little, not moving away.]

Oh, uhm, we talk to dead people. It's a very foundational part of the faith, to prove the existence of the soul after physical death.