𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑

[money]

NEVER HAVE I EVER

it's a sleepover, and you're all invited. this is never have i ever, and the rules are simple: icly comment with your character and a "never have i ever", people respond with judgement, jokes, or in the event they've done what you haven't, a shot of alcohol. comment around, thread hop, and react as you see fit!
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[semicharmed]

I think it's a shot per category, not a shot per victim. [ Rueful. ] But that might be a nice thing to do. Pour one out to honor all those people.

[ He pauses. In thought, rather than out of any attempt to deceive. ]

I never have. I think the most I've wanted is to hurt someone, either for fun or because I wanted them to hurt as bad as I was.

What does it feel like?

[ghostface]

Depends. I don't feel anything most of the time.

( sometimes he forgets the small details, even, or his brain mixes everything up like a shaken, not stirred cocktail. he licks a droplet of whiskey from the bottle's rim, then from his thumb. )

When it matters, it feels like a prayer.

[semicharmed]

[ Matt breathes out.

He thinks sometimes, in a way he'd never try to explain to anyone, that he and Danny are actually a lot alike. Two sides of the same holy coin, like Kali and Shiva. Not that he's comparing them to gods, but the divine exists in the individual as well, their small flames concordant with the greater universal fire. ]

I get that, I think. [ Matt eyes the diminishing liquor in his own glass. Looks back up to Danny, considering the path of his tongue over his thumb. ] Would you ever want to feel things the way I do? I have a thing ... it's not permanent, but it goes both ways. So I'd feel what you did too.

[ghostface]

( how to explain to your husband that feeling anything is often more than you can bear? last time that happened, he took a rifle to takeshi kovacs' head. what happens when you don't have anywhere to put the rage, when it keeps burning enough for you to feel the rest of what's under it? nothing good.

but he doesn't say no, not yet. he taps matt's glass with the bottle and pours him another drink. )

How's that work, then?

[semicharmed]

[ Matt smiles faintly for the little tap, nudging his glass ever-so-slightly into a more receptive position. The glass is filled; Matt reclaims it, taking a sip that warms his throat. ]

When I touch people ... and I want to ... I can get them to feel how it feels to be me. In my body, with everything my body wants. And at the same time, I feel how it feels to be them.

I don't know what the hell it is in like, a definitional sense, if it's psychic or magical or--I don't know. [ Matt's watching Danny's face now, alert to reactions or rejection. Especially as he broaches the last piece of the equation. ] But maybe if we did it, I could understand what it's like when you want to kill someone.

[ What it's like to want to kill me, he means. At least in part. ]

[ghostface]

( this time, danny takes his sip from matt's mouth, one hand on the bottle and the other under his jaw pulling his face skyward, licking whiskey burn from his bottom lip. )

Is that what you want? To understand?

[semicharmed]

[ Matt allows Danny to tip his head back, his tongue drawing a hungry shiver as it swipes across Matt's lip. He hums for the heat of it. Danny moves back, and Matt cranes to follow him, aiming a kiss at his mouth.

It's one answer, perhaps. Followed by a second: ]

Yes.

[ When the question is one of gnosis, Matt's answer is always the same. ]