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draino2025-05-03 08:30 am
saltburntmods) wrote in draino2025-05-03 08:30 am
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πππ ππππππππ ππ π π ππππππ ππ πππππππππππ ππππ β£ MAY TDM
MAY 2025 TDM: AMUSEMENT
Welcome to SALTBURNT, a panfandom smut/thriller game based off the film Saltburn, where characters are encouraged to indulge their deepest desires. The money never runs out and the liquor never stops pouring, so you may as well indulge from the bounty. Of course, things are rarely what they seem, and the manor itself seems to have a consciousness of its own. Throw parties, trash the house, engage in youthful merriment, but remember β dangers come out at night, and no one, no matter how rich you are, is safe from demons lurking in the shadows.
Threads can be considered game canon, provided the players agree. Players can also start fresh upon acceptance into the game. In game characters can post to the TDM directly, using Β« NEW CHARACTER/IN GAMEΒ» in the header. There will be a spot below for new characters to link their toplevels for easy access. Alternatively, prompts on the Test Drive can be used for in game logs.
WELCOME TO SALTBURNT
It's the hangover more than the light streaming in through half drawn curtains that wakes you up, your brain rattling in your skull, your mouth dry and cottony, your stomach churning with whatever it is you drank last night. If self preservation is your strong suit, you might turn over in bed and see a few painkillers laid out for you on a silver dish, accompanied by a glass of water. If it isnβt, stay in bed and wallow β eventually a maid will be in to tear your curtains open, saying, "Breakfast is served," and scurrying out quietly, invisibly. Breakfast? Maybe itβs normal for you. Maybe it isnβt.
You're drawn from the room, either by the mystery, or an undefinable urge that could be supernatural in origin, or could be your hunger catching up to you. It's almost nostalgic, the walk to the dining room β have you been here before? Were you drawn up to this estate in a car? Havenβt you done all this already? Maybe you mosey around a library, maybe you run into your suite mate in your adjoining bathroom. Regardless, seemingly all hallways, covered in priceless artworks and ancient relics from times long past, lead to the dining room, where a comically long table houses the Balfours and their many guests, some who seem just as disgruntled and confused as you. No matter. "Breakfast will be out in a minute," they say. What's that?
EDIT SEPTEMBER 2024: For those who have attended breakfast with the Balfours before, a change in routine might come as a shock, given how rarely they stray from form. However, as of September, the menu has been redone by some guests in the manor. In place of the self-serve style breakfast, there is an elevated menu, including: a self-serve juice bar, with pitchers of various juiced fruit and vegetables, shaved ice, coconut water, green and black tea syrups, potted microherbs, sliced whole berries, and finger limes. There is also, naturally, liquor and champagne available. Guests can make their own drinks, or ask the allocated staff member to serve them one of the "specials" if they're feeling adventurous.
πππ πππππ: one runny boiled egg shelled and recoated in edible gold leaf, seated on a throne of fried bread soldiers, plated with whipped butter and italian parsley.
ππππ ππππππππ: vinegar poached eggs with hollandaise foam on a bed of toasted freekah and baby spinach.
ππππ πππππππππππ: two eggs poached in a ramekin of pureed tomato, served with a crispy grilled cheese cut to dip.
πππ ππππππ: french omelette with a light cheese filling, topped with crushed potato chips and chives.
ππππ π πππππππππ: fluffy scrambled eggs in brown butter, served on sourdough.
πππππππ ππππ: mini-quiche made with caramelized red onions and jamon pata negra ham.
πππ ππππππππππ: bacon, egg, cheese and sausage breakfast muffin that tastes weirdly like it was made at a popular chain with golden arches.
β momofuku's "cereal milk" β
β fette biscottate with a sour cherry jam and peanut floss β
β a warm cinnamon bun served with a shot of espresso coffee for dipping β
β a macadamia-marzipan croissant with a wattleseed and burnt-honey filling β
β poffertjes with a liquid nutella injection β
If you want to leave, youβll have to tell Giles, the housekeeper, who will arrange a car for you that mysteriously, or perhaps suspiciously, never arrives. Unfortunately, confronting Giles about it is near impossible, as heβs as good at being invisible as the rest of the house staff. Of course, thereβs no reason why you canβt just walk out. The front gates are easy enough to jump over, even if the walk towards them gives you a strange sense of foreboding, or just outright discomfort, as if the ground itself doesnβt want you to leave. Those more sensitive or fragile might find they canβt make the jump, no matter how physically able, or desperately wanting. Still, a strong person could continue on, over the fence and into the lush English countryside. The feeling doesnβt dissipate, though β this sense of wrongness, almost sickness, like a weight on your back. Walk into the evergreen, carry on, but the strongest will make it perhaps a mile or so before the weight of dread and paranoia brings you to your knees, and then to your face, flat in the middle of a dirt road. What were you thinking? Is this really better?
Wake up with a hangover, in a bed, the curtains drawn, the maid saying, "Breakfast is served," before scurrying out. The painkillers are there, just like you remember. In fact, itβs all exactly how you remember, as if you never left an imprint the first time, or any mess you made was cleared away while your back was turned. Walk to the dining room, find everyone there eating away at their breakfast.
"We dress for dinner," says Portia, with a kind, if discerning smile. "Black tie."
You're drawn from the room, either by the mystery, or an undefinable urge that could be supernatural in origin, or could be your hunger catching up to you. It's almost nostalgic, the walk to the dining room β have you been here before? Were you drawn up to this estate in a car? Havenβt you done all this already? Maybe you mosey around a library, maybe you run into your suite mate in your adjoining bathroom. Regardless, seemingly all hallways, covered in priceless artworks and ancient relics from times long past, lead to the dining room, where a comically long table houses the Balfours and their many guests, some who seem just as disgruntled and confused as you. No matter. "Breakfast will be out in a minute," they say. What's that?
EDIT SEPTEMBER 2024: For those who have attended breakfast with the Balfours before, a change in routine might come as a shock, given how rarely they stray from form. However, as of September, the menu has been redone by some guests in the manor. In place of the self-serve style breakfast, there is an elevated menu, including: a self-serve juice bar, with pitchers of various juiced fruit and vegetables, shaved ice, coconut water, green and black tea syrups, potted microherbs, sliced whole berries, and finger limes. There is also, naturally, liquor and champagne available. Guests can make their own drinks, or ask the allocated staff member to serve them one of the "specials" if they're feeling adventurous.
That said, these are world class chefs, so the gold is really in the menu:
THE EGGS
πππ πππππ: one runny boiled egg shelled and recoated in edible gold leaf, seated on a throne of fried bread soldiers, plated with whipped butter and italian parsley.
ππππ ππππππππ: vinegar poached eggs with hollandaise foam on a bed of toasted freekah and baby spinach.
ππππ πππππππππππ: two eggs poached in a ramekin of pureed tomato, served with a crispy grilled cheese cut to dip.
πππ ππππππ: french omelette with a light cheese filling, topped with crushed potato chips and chives.
ππππ π πππππππππ: fluffy scrambled eggs in brown butter, served on sourdough.
πππππππ ππππ: mini-quiche made with caramelized red onions and jamon pata negra ham.
πππ ππππππππππ: bacon, egg, cheese and sausage breakfast muffin that tastes weirdly like it was made at a popular chain with golden arches.
THE SWEETS
β fette biscottate with a sour cherry jam and peanut floss β
β a warm cinnamon bun served with a shot of espresso coffee for dipping β
β a macadamia-marzipan croissant with a wattleseed and burnt-honey filling β
β poffertjes with a liquid nutella injection β
If you want to leave, youβll have to tell Giles, the housekeeper, who will arrange a car for you that mysteriously, or perhaps suspiciously, never arrives. Unfortunately, confronting Giles about it is near impossible, as heβs as good at being invisible as the rest of the house staff. Of course, thereβs no reason why you canβt just walk out. The front gates are easy enough to jump over, even if the walk towards them gives you a strange sense of foreboding, or just outright discomfort, as if the ground itself doesnβt want you to leave. Those more sensitive or fragile might find they canβt make the jump, no matter how physically able, or desperately wanting. Still, a strong person could continue on, over the fence and into the lush English countryside. The feeling doesnβt dissipate, though β this sense of wrongness, almost sickness, like a weight on your back. Walk into the evergreen, carry on, but the strongest will make it perhaps a mile or so before the weight of dread and paranoia brings you to your knees, and then to your face, flat in the middle of a dirt road. What were you thinking? Is this really better?
Wake up with a hangover, in a bed, the curtains drawn, the maid saying, "Breakfast is served," before scurrying out. The painkillers are there, just like you remember. In fact, itβs all exactly how you remember, as if you never left an imprint the first time, or any mess you made was cleared away while your back was turned. Walk to the dining room, find everyone there eating away at their breakfast.
"We dress for dinner," says Portia, with a kind, if discerning smile. "Black tie."
WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME
CONTENT WARNINGS: potential nsfw, public indecency.
Making a peculiar appearance at the breakfast table is a violet-backed starling, flitting in above your heads and making several turns before landing atop a silver tray with a mechanical whir. Upon closer inspection, the bird isnβt actually alive at all β or at least isnβt composed of flesh and blood. Itβs an automaton of glittering parts, its amber gaze seemingly aimed directly at you, regardless of where you stand. Held in its tiny talons is a rolled up flyer, which the bird drops to the table, where it unfolds for the closest person to read at the chirping starlingβs behest.
The flyer advertises the BASKERVILLE FAMILY CIRCUS EMPORIUM, boasting the best traveling show in the world, complete with carousel rides, ferris wheels, animal attractions, boat rides, world class acrobatics, and a full market of classical antiquities and other merchandise. PORTIA comes in at that moment, takes one look at the gilded letters of the purple and gold advertisement, and snatches the paper away, the bird taking off through the manor with a loud chirp as it escapes through a window.
From then, the Balfours act cagey and whisper secrets among themselves, a tension gripping the odd family as the day passes with no sight of the bird. Once you return to your room, you will find a copy of the Circus Emporium flyer tucked by your pillow β this time with an additional section for you to fill out if youβd like to take control of a booth yourself to show off your own marketable skills or sell your own wares β singing, dancing, cooking, magic tricks, the skyβs the limit! The Baskervilles apparently accept talents of all kinds, though the matter of compensation seems to be conveniently tattered beyond legibility from all flyers. In addition to the flyer, nestled in your bed is a tiny heart locket in your preference of silver or gold. Opening the locket will reveal a glittering gem of a random color amidst clockwork gears, slowly turning.
There isnβt any time to heckle the Balfours for answers, because the next morning everyone wakes to the sounds of construction outside, where a crew clad in purple works to set up the huge traveling emporium β tents go up with the motif of glass hearts decorating every tent wall, ceiling, and doorframe, rides are built, booths line the gardens, a Ferris wheel lights up the maze. Everyone is confined indoors while animals are brought in, clowns cartwheel across the grounds, and the smell of sugary, fried fair food sizzles in the air. By nightfall, the manor is alight with music and performers, and the doors pop open for an invitation to traverse the Circus Emporium, the Baskerville Ringleader himself ushering all in with a smile. If youβve signed up for a booth, you will find one with your name on it along with any supplies you might need to be a successful entrepreneur for the long night β which certainly feels long. Almost unending, as the events go on and on and on. Some of you more vapid-headed types might not even notice that your newly acquired locket is now nestled around your neck and cannot be removed, regardless of how hard you try.
But never fear! Thereβs plenty to see and do. The lakes have been set up with romantic boat rides with a flowered archway with a wooden, very exaggeratedly drawn SANJI, lips pursed in a desiring kiss, surrounded by pink and red love hearts around his head like a crown. This, naturally, leads into the TUNNEL OF LOVE; once inside, your most hidden feelings sprout forth, both the good and the bad, unless you lock lips with your boat partner. The towering FERRIS WHEEL fits up to four in a car, and the higher you go, the more breathless you might feel, the air thinner and your body hotter, and you might need someone to quickly relieve that building pressure inside of you before you reach the ground. Plus, it has a reputation of getting stuck once you reach the top. The sweet MERRY-GO-ROUND, equipped with glimmering ponies, unicorns, seahorses, and dragons might give you more than you bargained for when the building euphoria causes you a personal (and public) moment of solo orgasmic bliss.
Too embarrassed to be yourself after all that? There are a number of shopping booths, including no shortage of clothing and styled looks as inspired by some of your very own β most mannequins on the lot seem to resemble SHADOWHEART or ASTARION in some way or another, from stylishly cut wigs, to decorative (see: cheap, mall quality) armor for your perusal. Alternatively, visit one of the DRESS-UP BOOTHS where a helpful Baskerville employee will provide you with a costume or makeup change, where you can wear as much or as little as you want. One particular booth hosts outfits ranging the gamut of stereotypical porn attire, from schoolteachers to handymen, and has an adjoining studio room for filming videos of a certain persuasion. Help me, step bro, I'm stuck in the washing machine!
Throughout all the circus, starling automatons circle overhead, perching on rooftops, in the corners of rooms, even on your head although they never bite. Delightful, isn't it? Their glassy gaze is strangely unsettling, almost like they're watching you, very closely.
Making a peculiar appearance at the breakfast table is a violet-backed starling, flitting in above your heads and making several turns before landing atop a silver tray with a mechanical whir. Upon closer inspection, the bird isnβt actually alive at all β or at least isnβt composed of flesh and blood. Itβs an automaton of glittering parts, its amber gaze seemingly aimed directly at you, regardless of where you stand. Held in its tiny talons is a rolled up flyer, which the bird drops to the table, where it unfolds for the closest person to read at the chirping starlingβs behest.
The flyer advertises the BASKERVILLE FAMILY CIRCUS EMPORIUM, boasting the best traveling show in the world, complete with carousel rides, ferris wheels, animal attractions, boat rides, world class acrobatics, and a full market of classical antiquities and other merchandise. PORTIA comes in at that moment, takes one look at the gilded letters of the purple and gold advertisement, and snatches the paper away, the bird taking off through the manor with a loud chirp as it escapes through a window.
From then, the Balfours act cagey and whisper secrets among themselves, a tension gripping the odd family as the day passes with no sight of the bird. Once you return to your room, you will find a copy of the Circus Emporium flyer tucked by your pillow β this time with an additional section for you to fill out if youβd like to take control of a booth yourself to show off your own marketable skills or sell your own wares β singing, dancing, cooking, magic tricks, the skyβs the limit! The Baskervilles apparently accept talents of all kinds, though the matter of compensation seems to be conveniently tattered beyond legibility from all flyers. In addition to the flyer, nestled in your bed is a tiny heart locket in your preference of silver or gold. Opening the locket will reveal a glittering gem of a random color amidst clockwork gears, slowly turning.
There isnβt any time to heckle the Balfours for answers, because the next morning everyone wakes to the sounds of construction outside, where a crew clad in purple works to set up the huge traveling emporium β tents go up with the motif of glass hearts decorating every tent wall, ceiling, and doorframe, rides are built, booths line the gardens, a Ferris wheel lights up the maze. Everyone is confined indoors while animals are brought in, clowns cartwheel across the grounds, and the smell of sugary, fried fair food sizzles in the air. By nightfall, the manor is alight with music and performers, and the doors pop open for an invitation to traverse the Circus Emporium, the Baskerville Ringleader himself ushering all in with a smile. If youβve signed up for a booth, you will find one with your name on it along with any supplies you might need to be a successful entrepreneur for the long night β which certainly feels long. Almost unending, as the events go on and on and on. Some of you more vapid-headed types might not even notice that your newly acquired locket is now nestled around your neck and cannot be removed, regardless of how hard you try.
But never fear! Thereβs plenty to see and do. The lakes have been set up with romantic boat rides with a flowered archway with a wooden, very exaggeratedly drawn SANJI, lips pursed in a desiring kiss, surrounded by pink and red love hearts around his head like a crown. This, naturally, leads into the TUNNEL OF LOVE; once inside, your most hidden feelings sprout forth, both the good and the bad, unless you lock lips with your boat partner. The towering FERRIS WHEEL fits up to four in a car, and the higher you go, the more breathless you might feel, the air thinner and your body hotter, and you might need someone to quickly relieve that building pressure inside of you before you reach the ground. Plus, it has a reputation of getting stuck once you reach the top. The sweet MERRY-GO-ROUND, equipped with glimmering ponies, unicorns, seahorses, and dragons might give you more than you bargained for when the building euphoria causes you a personal (and public) moment of solo orgasmic bliss.
Too embarrassed to be yourself after all that? There are a number of shopping booths, including no shortage of clothing and styled looks as inspired by some of your very own β most mannequins on the lot seem to resemble SHADOWHEART or ASTARION in some way or another, from stylishly cut wigs, to decorative (see: cheap, mall quality) armor for your perusal. Alternatively, visit one of the DRESS-UP BOOTHS where a helpful Baskerville employee will provide you with a costume or makeup change, where you can wear as much or as little as you want. One particular booth hosts outfits ranging the gamut of stereotypical porn attire, from schoolteachers to handymen, and has an adjoining studio room for filming videos of a certain persuasion. Help me, step bro, I'm stuck in the washing machine!
Throughout all the circus, starling automatons circle overhead, perching on rooftops, in the corners of rooms, even on your head although they never bite. Delightful, isn't it? Their glassy gaze is strangely unsettling, almost like they're watching you, very closely.
PICK A CARD, ANY CARD
CONTENT WARNINGS: potential nsfw, various kinks.
Not everything at the circus is cotton candy, however. If you visit the HOUSE OF MIRRORS, donβt be surprised if your reflection goes rogue and whispers a private shame back at you, maybe even within earshot of the person standing beside you. The ANIMAL SHOWS boast ferocious beasts who are part lion, tiger, and bear (oh my), and people locked in cages, dressed and painted as animals, performing mesmerizing dances that compel you to volunteer for a cage yourself if you watch for too long. Maybe youβd like to put on a sexy show for your friends? In the ACROBATICS TENT, watch world class performers contort their bodies into magical shapes, floating high above your head. Thereβs even a practice area outfitted with aerial ropes and silks, harnesses, and more intimate objects that seem like theyβve been pilfered from the Otherworld if youβd like to engage in a little acrobatic bondage play.
Additionally there is a TAROT CARD BOOTH, as displayed by one MADAME PATCHOULI, a withered old woman who loves to talk about her grandkids. Come get your fortune foretold in either a 3-card or single card spread, watching the matron's gnarled hands shuffle and deal the cards, outlining your fate. Of course, there is more to the cards than meets the eye, and they are foretelling, expressing some interesting bodily and emotional changes depending on what you draw.
for three card spreads, characters will transition from one effect into the other on a timeline dictated by the player (i.e., in one day, in a week, over the course a month). for a single card pull, just grab your PRESENT card and have fun! all effects wrap up at the latest by month end.
Not everything at the circus is cotton candy, however. If you visit the HOUSE OF MIRRORS, donβt be surprised if your reflection goes rogue and whispers a private shame back at you, maybe even within earshot of the person standing beside you. The ANIMAL SHOWS boast ferocious beasts who are part lion, tiger, and bear (oh my), and people locked in cages, dressed and painted as animals, performing mesmerizing dances that compel you to volunteer for a cage yourself if you watch for too long. Maybe youβd like to put on a sexy show for your friends? In the ACROBATICS TENT, watch world class performers contort their bodies into magical shapes, floating high above your head. Thereβs even a practice area outfitted with aerial ropes and silks, harnesses, and more intimate objects that seem like theyβve been pilfered from the Otherworld if youβd like to engage in a little acrobatic bondage play.
Additionally there is a TAROT CARD BOOTH, as displayed by one MADAME PATCHOULI, a withered old woman who loves to talk about her grandkids. Come get your fortune foretold in either a 3-card or single card spread, watching the matron's gnarled hands shuffle and deal the cards, outlining your fate. Of course, there is more to the cards than meets the eye, and they are foretelling, expressing some interesting bodily and emotional changes depending on what you draw.
for three card spreads, characters will transition from one effect into the other on a timeline dictated by the player (i.e., in one day, in a week, over the course a month). for a single card pull, just grab your PRESENT card and have fun! all effects wrap up at the latest by month end.
SHARING IS CARING
CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual black mail, nonconsensual sex tape making, snuff films, potential character death.
The Circus Emporium hosts a large film festival at the end of their stay, a large projector screen set out inside the main tent, firstly displaying some art house cheesy films, before the mood in the room shifts as more people gather. The nature of the film shifts too, from intentional to candid, where you might catch glimpses of a person you know caught in frame, cotton candy between their fingers, enjoying the circus. Sweet, right? It seems those starling automatons were not only observing you, but actively filming you and β well, as you're reflecting on your time spent in the circus, the visual changes again. It wasn't all giggles and sugary treats, was it? The camera cuts, to flashes of bare skin and throaty moans, and oh god, is that you up there?
Even as an observer, you can feel your body heating up as if the flames of second or firsthand embarrassment are caressing your own skin. As the show goes on, these strange heat symptoms slowly start to get worse β specifically, they move to your chest, where your heart begins to beat erratically and then struggles to beat at all. In fact, your heart feels like a heavy, agonizing weight in your chest, somehow growing more fragile by the moment. A constant cadence echoes through your skull until you abruptly realize the locket hanging around your neck, now burning hot, is ticking like a clock β or a bomb? β and the gem inside has cracked, tiny shards falling into your palm, slowly draining of color.
The horror of whatβs happening seems to come to you as naturally as the locketβs presence around your throat β your heart is slowly and painfully glassifying in the burning, shameful heat of your body, and when the gem fully deteriorates and the clockwork locket ceases to tick, your heart will become a beautiful, glittering stone inside your chest, effectively killing you. The Baskerville employees look devilishly pleased at this turn of events, because apparently the idea of all the guests of the manor succumbing to their literal broken hearts fills them with a wicked joy.
If you run outside to escape the terrible voyeurism, Portia and Jonty can be caught having a rather heated tiff with the Ringleader, Portia clutching the locket wrapped around her own neck with a pained expression. After a moment of back and forth insults, you might catch Portia and Jonty exchanging words of their own before sharing a rare and surprisingly passionate kiss, cheeks flaring and hands wandering, before they both disappear into a tent in a tangle of limbs and lavish clothing. It would be rude to time them, but upon emerging, their lockets are broken off their necks, wearing expressions of relief, Portia with a slight limp to her step.
Your own symptoms worsen the longer the night goes on, the pain in your chest dizzying, your throat growing raw and bloodied as you begin to cough up fragments of glass. If you stayed in the movie tent, the videos change to live performances of people βΒ your friends, your enemies, the people you have yet to meet βΒ choking and dying on screen. The ticking sound pierces your mind like a lance, again and again. The only solution? it seems you must snub out some sliver of purity within yourself and give a significant first to a partner βΒ be it a few meaningful words you haven't yet shared, or a raunchy sex act you've never considered before. Your locket canβt be removed until you de-virgin some part of yourself. And if you donβt? Well, at least you know your heart will be a beautiful trinket.
The Circus Emporium hosts a large film festival at the end of their stay, a large projector screen set out inside the main tent, firstly displaying some art house cheesy films, before the mood in the room shifts as more people gather. The nature of the film shifts too, from intentional to candid, where you might catch glimpses of a person you know caught in frame, cotton candy between their fingers, enjoying the circus. Sweet, right? It seems those starling automatons were not only observing you, but actively filming you and β well, as you're reflecting on your time spent in the circus, the visual changes again. It wasn't all giggles and sugary treats, was it? The camera cuts, to flashes of bare skin and throaty moans, and oh god, is that you up there?
Even as an observer, you can feel your body heating up as if the flames of second or firsthand embarrassment are caressing your own skin. As the show goes on, these strange heat symptoms slowly start to get worse β specifically, they move to your chest, where your heart begins to beat erratically and then struggles to beat at all. In fact, your heart feels like a heavy, agonizing weight in your chest, somehow growing more fragile by the moment. A constant cadence echoes through your skull until you abruptly realize the locket hanging around your neck, now burning hot, is ticking like a clock β or a bomb? β and the gem inside has cracked, tiny shards falling into your palm, slowly draining of color.
The horror of whatβs happening seems to come to you as naturally as the locketβs presence around your throat β your heart is slowly and painfully glassifying in the burning, shameful heat of your body, and when the gem fully deteriorates and the clockwork locket ceases to tick, your heart will become a beautiful, glittering stone inside your chest, effectively killing you. The Baskerville employees look devilishly pleased at this turn of events, because apparently the idea of all the guests of the manor succumbing to their literal broken hearts fills them with a wicked joy.
If you run outside to escape the terrible voyeurism, Portia and Jonty can be caught having a rather heated tiff with the Ringleader, Portia clutching the locket wrapped around her own neck with a pained expression. After a moment of back and forth insults, you might catch Portia and Jonty exchanging words of their own before sharing a rare and surprisingly passionate kiss, cheeks flaring and hands wandering, before they both disappear into a tent in a tangle of limbs and lavish clothing. It would be rude to time them, but upon emerging, their lockets are broken off their necks, wearing expressions of relief, Portia with a slight limp to her step.
Your own symptoms worsen the longer the night goes on, the pain in your chest dizzying, your throat growing raw and bloodied as you begin to cough up fragments of glass. If you stayed in the movie tent, the videos change to live performances of people βΒ your friends, your enemies, the people you have yet to meet βΒ choking and dying on screen. The ticking sound pierces your mind like a lance, again and again. The only solution? it seems you must snub out some sliver of purity within yourself and give a significant first to a partner βΒ be it a few meaningful words you haven't yet shared, or a raunchy sex act you've never considered before. Your locket canβt be removed until you de-virgin some part of yourself. And if you donβt? Well, at least you know your heart will be a beautiful trinket.
DIRECTORY
no subject
[august doesn't - can't - think of a world where he can have it all. the connections he shares here versus the disconnect at home. entirely his fault yet entirely necessary, to keep his distance to prevent his craft from infecting others. he doesn't know if it'll be worse or better here, with magic making its own fragmented imprints.
following her movements (like liquid, the water she's nearly dried from) he looks up at her. watching her is easy, but her offer has him hesitate. sharing memories are tricky business in his world and he knows nothing about hers or the magic she's born from. will she get something in return by accident if she isn't careful enough?]
If you want.
[the temptation of her kindness pulls at his heart. a reprieve from his own thoughts for a peek inside of hers. he can only hope his don't bite back.]
no subject
[ Certainty in Roza's voice. Her hands lift, brown and clean, lakewater rinsed through her, washing away the scent of her panic. She takes one of August's hands between both of her own. A small touch will do, but she attributes a certain weight to hands. They are so often an instrument of magic, but also of communication. You can hold a person's spirit in your hands, she thinks. In your teeth, too, but that invokes rather less gentleness. This is not a moment for biting, although she is a good biter.
Time slips away from her.
The Gates of the Arctic is the northernmost national park in the United States, and for a a few seasons, she worked there. Roza is a little younger, her body mostly packed into fur and down and weatherized nylon, but her face is exposed. In this memory, it is nearly summer, like now, but the climate differs so drastically that nights can still freeze a person's body, blood-first. Snow lists in weak puddles in valleys or across the caps of the jutting sable-brown mountains that crest the skyline, barely visible but for infinite starlight. Their shapes make for good guardians; she feels safe, even though it is night, and she is alone. Under flashlights, the ground is the gold-rust color of new tundra grass, thick with singing, stinging insects that leave her poison in peace. Below has its merits, but she's looking for the Above.
Outsiders think they know what darkness is, at night β darkness without moral implication, darkness without sentiment or cruelty, only wildness. But light pollution tangles a cloudy web across nearly every part of the West, and real dark doesn't exist in the country they currently appear to inhabit, even in the countryside. It only lives in places of impossible vastness, where ostensible civilization can't pour out enough infrastructure to fill earth's cups. Dark is necessary to offset the light, and vice-versa β light without moral implication, light without sentiment or innocence, only the far-flung capriciousness of space.
The Northern Lights are never brighter anywhere than Alaska. Roza believes this earnestly. When they come they burst sky open like overripe fruit, billowing particles of electricity across the horizon, swallowing up stars and moon, too green and too purple to be compared to the whiteness of ordinary constellations. Ribbons of rosy pink race along the wild green, nesting on treetops. The green drops suddenly to earth in the fashion of stormclouds, threatening, promising. They bear down on her heavy and wet, pinning her body to grasses, where she lies on her back. Her spine arches as though possessed, pulling her up toward the light that tastes like the dewy, relieved atmosphere after the rain. It gets inside her mouth. She swallows it and her throat shines that funny-hot green from its interior chamber, all the way down through her chest. It doesn't go any lower. It decides it lives there.
(It lives there now, too. This was life for her, has been life for her since she can remember β magic coating every moment, every breath.)
In present day, Roza partly releases August's hand so that she may press two fingertips to her heart, where the light lodged and remained. There is no visible electric green in reality, but she sees it with her spirit. She thinks he will, too. She does the same to him, two fingers, taut against his heart. She's smiling. To her this is a ritual.
Also, it is a nicer memory of the Auroras. Sometimes they came to her with much more violence, although there was release in that, too. But she wants to reaffirm it to herself: no biting. Not today. ]
A little piece of home. For you to keep, okay?
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he forgot how he missed this, the endless skies doled out to its inhabitants and bursts of color to appreciate for hours. a bit longer, his heart pleads. a bit longer on earth to experience the light once more.
he tastes the air as she does. brisk and consuming as she swallows the drops like a meal. for all that she is, all the elements she represents, she reminds august of the ocean most. her chaos comes in waves. careful now, kind after a storm, he thinks. magic like this isn't shared with him often. the sharpness inside of him caves to make room for her; a beautiful memory given to him, a willing witness. emotion -- large and consuming as she had consumed light -- wants to show somewhere in the absence of tears he cannot shed. tears for the beauty of her vision and homesickness won't ever form, so another sort of understanding breaks through with a smile. a smile that says i see you.
two fingertips to his own heart, then to hers. a full circle and acknowledgment of ritual.]
I'll keep it safe. [her and her aurora light inside of her.] Thank you, Roza.
[his hand falls away from her chest, back to a lazy drape over his own. the reason why she shared doesn't matter, only that she did. she saw something that needed a certain tenderness and succeeded.]
Is that something that comes naturally to you?
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Her own smile is fairly glowing, more moonlight than sunshine. She doesn't know the entirety of what causes this ache in him, only that she feels it, like a wound on the surface of the soul. Her fingertips feel warm where the ritualistic gestures connected, were replicated. ]
It is, but it used to be not so β [ here is a nose-scrunch of concentration, as Roza endeavors to select the right words ] β bossy. Like I have to do it, or it builds up in me.
[ The whys of this she can't articulate β shouldn't, she thinks, because it's so much for a near-stranger. But August does not feel like a stranger. Similarity feels like familiarity feels like knowledge. ]
Because where I come from, we can't practice openly, this is β it's really nice. So thank you for letting me do it. Sometimes other people who do workings, they don't really fuck with me, for whatever reason. But you're not like that.
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You can use it with me if it's ever too much.
[august can withstand too much for the sake of balance, he'd told a friend to drive a knife wherever she wanted after what he did to her. instinctively touching his shoulder where no sign of a wound is just as roza had touched the her inner thigh. the scar on the inside of his left palm burns in its place from the magic he'd done twice over - one for himself and one for his friend. he makes note that they contrast each other in interesting ways; august having spent most of his life distancing himself from others to prevent terror while roza has had little luck finding true connection in the first place. a funny thing to see someone so clearly in a matter of minutes. seeing and feeling and having the chance to touch a soul as if they've seen each other before.
they don't have to speak to know.]
Those people aren't worth your time. I don't think you'll find many like that here, anyway. You can get away with a lot.
[and he's a prime example of that.]
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Yeah? [ That warmth cutting into the current of her voice, small and gratified. ] You know, I don't think anybody's ever said that to me before.
[ Roza resettles her body next to August's side, position a mirror, as she tends to so unconsciously do; a byproduct of both her sensitivity and her willingness means she likes to find the groove in reality left by a strong pattern and lie down inside it, cocooned by time and her focus on him. Not all of him is apparent to her immediate ambient perceptiveness, but she knows power and she knows experience. Both alter the shape of the spiritual terrain. ]
These places have that going for them. [ Fear of alienated strangeness is greatly reduced, even if Roza knows she must not rely on the idea it's broadly impossible. ] You been getting away with things?
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[a soft retort, like his offer is simple, without need of second-thought, after what she's given him. details so sharp and vivid that he'll be able to close his eyes and be on the frozen terrain again. he can still see it, feel the sky's stars staring down at them. shuttering pictures every time he blinks as if he's holding an old camera to his face. the memories won't give him the emotion he'd felt with her, but he's grateful to have them at all.]
Before, yeah. [the altar splashed with blood, hounds stalking the manor for violence, his friend near-mortally wounded. images that taint the soothing roza carefully crafted, pushed away again by the sweetness of perfume dulled by fresh water and skin as she settles beside him.] I was younger for a few months, in my early twenties, and made a mess when I got here.
[understatement. he's sure it wasn't even worth the energy now that he looks back on what he's done and how the only terror left for the manor was the altar, which he's convinced is here because of him. but she doesn't need to know what he's done or willing to do, not yet.]
The laws here aren't right. You feel it, don't you? [he's been asking that more and more.] We can do anything, but we're bound by the power that keeps us here.
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August would understand Jel-Yel. He liked the memory and the transmission thereof (a fact that renders her olive-brown skin warmer to touch than sunshine alone should reflect), and that was a similar kind of strange. Prettier than Jel-Yel β even Roza can admit that one β but the kind of magic that carries with it a hint of danger, maybe more. As all magic should.
Memory brings Roza's hand to her throat, nestled against collarbones, as though this were the location of her power's source, and her voice has been stymied inside it. ] But it doesn't come, not the way I do it at home. It feels false. Like if I pushed and pushed, maybe, but then it might be no good.
[ To labor too strenuously with grace is the equivalent of plagiarism. Demanding its presence is to rebuke it entirely. Wielding her power means surrender to it. Some things can only occur in the context of perfect submission; her magic at its best is one such thing.
Roza is only one of her particular kind here. Maybe if there were more, and they acted in concert, as they had hundreds of years ago, it would be different. Maybe, maybe, maybe. A thousand maybes fill her head and heart and mouth until her teeth have to bite down on her lower lip to keep possible angles from spilling forth, lest wild conjecture flow like a river freshly undammed. The gesture is, as always, inadvertently coquettish, young. ]
I know we only just met, even though it doesn't really feel like it, [ smiling a little, ] but if you want to tell me sometime, you can. But I know how big workings can leave a mark. Or go sideways.
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It wouldn't be. Push too hard and it'll bite back.
[and it is false. he nearly died from how false it is. the earth beneath him is wrong to be repaired within a few days of destruction, as if it's a running code of if_x then_y. it's a relief she understands himβ a cycle of recognition running through a stumble the more she speaks. his brows knit together, muscles in his jaw a wave of tension, at the mention of a mark. instead of outright denying her, he redirects. his energy feels redirecting too, like she's thumbed over a bruise, a place she shouldn't touch.]
They can. [gaze drop to her lips where the barely-there indents of her teeth remain. perhaps he's imagining them.] Not so much anymore.
[he questions how to balance thisβΒ the bridge formed between them versus his past, if the trust he feels blooming for her is enough. there's intensity behind his eyes as he looks at her. debating.]
What did you name them?