𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[kobes]

it's fine, i took ibuprofen
nobody's got that much money except god. i'm doomed.

you don't gotta be nice to me, you know.

right, sure. i don't think ANYONE here's virtuous.

[blooded]

I don't "gotta" be anything. I want to be nice to you.




And you're not doomed. At the very least she'll die one day.

[kobes]

why? what's in it for you?

yeah, in like a million years. she's gonna be one of those people who lives to a hundred outta pure spite.

[blooded]

Healing my inner child.



Well, that's only if she goes naturally. A lot of things can happen out in the world, you know. It's a dangerous place.

[kobes]

at least you're honest
i'm not a child. haven't been for a real long time.

yeah, i know, i'm from australia, remember?
what are you implying though

[blooded]

Well I was mostly joking
But yes, I know. You still deserve to be helped. Compassion isn't only for children.

Nothing in specific.
Nothing that you need to be concerned with.

[kobes]

that's really sweet of you but i'm fine. i can take care of myself.

yeah cause that isn't suspicious at ALL.
don't do anything stupid. she ruins lives, thats how she works. i don't want that shit anywhere near teo.

cw child abuse

[blooded]

Be honest with yourself—how's that working out?
Don't answer me, just think about it.




When I was young, 11 or 12, my mother tried to leave my father. I discovered later that she'd stolen some of his money, waited for one of his business trips—I think she intended to take Stefano and I with her, it was a lot of money, but I've never been sure.
It didn't matter. My father discovered the money was missing before he left for his trip. He waited until we were all at dinner to bring it up, only he didn't know who'd done it. He accused me.

cw child abuse continued

[kobes]

[the answer: badly. it's going badly.

after a pause, wherein he debates being a brat and not answering:] then what happened?

cw child abuse continues to continue

[blooded]

[ thank you for letting him be a dramatic bitch while he gets around to his actual point, koby, you a real one. ]

I denied it, of course. I was far too afraid of him to steal anything, and it was far too much money for me to be able to just stumble on anyway. But he didn't believe me, no matter how much I denied it.
After... I don't know, twenty minutes, maybe, maybe more, of back and forth, he turned to Stefano. If it wasn't me, then obviously it must have been Stefano, and he would have to be punished.
Stefano couldn't have been six. He didn't know what that meant, but I did. So I confessed. My mother didn't say a word the entire time.




You're a survivor. So am I. I don't pity you, Jakob, I am not trying to be your white knight.

cw child abuse just all the way probably

[kobes]

[he didn't believe me, of all the information there, hits hardest, somehow. standing before an authority figure, hands twisting together, wide-eyed and anxious and trying to insist upon a truth they refuse to accept. you're a little liar, and liars never change unless they're forced to change, i know it, i know you, i know you better than anyone else alive.

still, he gulps it down, shoves it into a little box in his head, locks it up tight.]

it's not the same.
your dad's an asshole who enjoyed having power over people who couldn't fight back.
alvida saved me. she gave me everything. she expects a lot out of me in return.

[parroted lines, said so many times he nearly believes them himself.]

she's put a lot of time and effort and resources into me and my career.
that's not something she's going to just abandon because someone's given me a better offer.

[between the lines: she'll never let me go.]

[blooded]

I was a constant disappointment to my father. Everything he'd given me, all the time and money he'd spent on me, the private tutors, the expensive European preparatory schools, and I could never just be what he wanted me to be.

When I graduated from Oxford, I could have stayed in England. I had a job offer, I had friends, I was seeing someone. He wasn't going to send anyone to bring me back. He knew he didn't need to. We make our own cages.

[kobes]

well, i was homeschooled except for one year.
didn't go to college. too busy working.

so what did it? how'd you get out and live happily ever after?

[blooded]

[ hahaha! haha. ha. ]

Getting older. After I was grown enough to hit back, that stopped on its own, mostly. But honestly?

He died.

[ a month or so ago, of natural causes! teo's probably talked about it a lot, he was giuseppe's golden child. ]

[kobes]

that hasn't helped yet.
she's had me since i was twelve. ish.
just turned twelve.

oh. right. yeah.
sorry? not sorry?

[blooded]

Not sorry, he was an asshole—though I'm sure Teo's told you different.

I spent my whole life telling myself that there was nothing I could do and nowhere I could go. I never got to find out if that was actually true.

[ but you have time, koby! ]

[kobes]

he hasn't mentioned him much.
we don't talk a lot about family.

well, you're not dead YET mr. s.
plenty of time to live whatever dreams you've got.
at least you're good at shit.

my list of skills is pretty damn short, and i can't talk about most of them in polite company.

[blooded]

[ would it be very juvenile to be glad that he told koby the truth about who giuseppe was before teo could give his nonno any glowing praise? yes, definitely.

is he glad? yes, definitely. ]

Next time you talk shit about yourself I'm coming to your room and taking your ice cream.

[kobes]

too late, pops 😜

[a photo accompanying it: an empty half pint of ben & jerrys. despite his prickliness, koby isn't about to pass up free sugar.]

it's not talking shit if it's true.
the only money i've ever made was on my back or my knees or i stole it 😒😒😒

[blooded]

[ okay yeah that ruins his threat but also, geez?? ]

Wow, you are hungry. Do you want actual food?
I'm not trying to be your sugar daddy, I have genuine concern



Is that how you want to be making money? [ resisting... catholic urge..... to judge....!!! ] Those are skills in their own ways. And if not, well. That's hardly your fault, is it?

[kobes]

got the munchies, that's all
i can room service a sandwich if I gotta
you don't gotta worry, i'm not starved, just got a crazy metabolism.



it's what i'm good at. [that's not an answer and he knows it.] been doing it a long time.

[blooded]

That's not an answer.

[ and you know it!! ]

[kobes]

[there's a pause so long it seems likely that koby’s just -- stopped responding.

but then:] no.
i don't want to keep doing it.

[blooded]

[ damon doesn't respond for nearly as long as koby—and when he does, it's not via text.

there's a knock at koby's door, soft but not hesitant. ]

[kobes]

[there's a pause, then a long groan from inside before koby drags himself off the unmade bed and over to the door. he's in sweatpants, a t-shirt, looking much more unkempt and casual than he normally is in public. he's halfway through the gelato, mumbling around a spoon when he opens the door:]

What? I'm not finished with your fancy Italian shit yet.