𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[mygoodsir]

My dear girl, I cannot imagine anyone who wouldn't be into it with you. I suppose some might balk at the playacting if you were dressed as, say, sentient broccoli. But even then.

[A sip of wine, but he's not hurrying his way through the glass.]

What's your favourite of your costumes? I'd assume it's from your favourite program.

[longlegs]

Oh my god. Sentient broccoli.

[ Wow, how dare he make her laugh like that? Criminal. ]

Hmm. How about I show you?

[mygoodsir]

[Hey, when he turns on the charm he can do okay!]

I would enjoy that very much.

[longlegs]

Finish that drink, then.

[ Smiling like it's a dare between friends, she finishes what's left in her glass and lightly flips some hair behind her shoulder, adjusting her sunglasses. ]

But you should bring the bottle.

[mygoodsir]

[Down the hatch it goes, and he grabs the bottle by the neck.]

Lead on, my dear.

[He's doing great with the life decisions once again.]

[longlegs]

You got it.

[ And she links her arm with his, walks back inside and slides her sunglasses up over her head again. The walk to her room takes a little while, and once they're there it's a reflection of her personality. Decorations, art, way too many clothes and accessories, a bundle of make up in enough tones to make a rainbow jealous. ]

So, you said you're a doctor — wanna tell me about it while I go find the costume?

[mygoodsir]

Certainly.

[He sits on the edge of the bed, setting the wine carefully nearby.]

It's a bit gruesome, I'm afraid. I work in accident and emergency - trauma surgery, generally. If you've driven your car into a wall or impaled yourself on something doing home repairs, chances are I'll be the one looking after you.

I've done it quite some time, now. It can be... stressful. Long days, you know. Lots of human wreckage. It can be a little depressing, if you're not careful.

[He forces himself to shut up. Nobody wants to hear that a doctor is depressed.]

[longlegs]

[ Kinda depressing, yeah, and maybe she should've picked another topic, but it seemed clever at the time — she asks a few more questions, hopefully steering it away from any topics that might bring the man down, and after disappearing for a little while, she reemerges in a pink nurse outfit (disclaimer: idk if this actually a cosplay of anything sorry to anyone out there who might know oop), heels making her well over 6' tall now. She swings the fake stethoscope once or twice. ]

So... when was your last check up?

[mygoodsir]

[Oh.

There is no hiding his delight.]

Goodness. Ah. I must admit it was some time ago.

[He has to look up. Way up. It's nice.]

[longlegs]

[ He isn't making a face, he isn't laughing her off - already huge points in his favor. Mila walks over until she's right in front of him, legs a little spread. She wouldn't blame him if he reached out to touch them, see if he can find the garter above the stockings. ]

I think it's about time you got another one, then. But you're the doctor, so ... you should tell me what to do?

cw: fake medical kink idk

[mygoodsir]

[This is not the first time he's been cajoled into sexy doctor roleplay. As soon as people find out his job it's a fifty-fifty chance that it'll happen.

Why fight it?

Harry places his hands gently on Mila's thighs.]

A physical examination seems wise. Check the pulse and reactions.

cw: worst of all - in cosplay

[longlegs]

[ One hand splays on his chest, sliding upward, resting two fingers on the pulse point of his neck. On the opposite side, Mila touches her lips to his neck, licks it gently. ]

That's pulse...

[ And she leans forward with her body, rests one knee on the mattress between his legs, spreading him a little wider to press it softly against his crotch. The skirt practically pools around her and on him. ]

Remind me what the other one was?

[mygoodsir]

Reactions.

[His hands slip around to grasp the neck of her thighs, half steadying and half exploring.]

I expect the pupils will be dilated. Pulse is up, yes? Bloodflow to the genitals increased.

[Boy is it.]

You're doing very well.

[longlegs]

So are you.

[ Teeth on the softer part of his earlobe, licking the curve of the shell, she caresses Harry's nape and climbs on his lap proper, one leg to each side now. Gradually, Mila starts to unbutton the top of her dress. ]

Check my heartbeat for me?

[mygoodsir]

Of course.

[Oh. She's really hot.

Harry slowly leans in and places his ear against her chest. His fingers rest on her thigh and tap in time with the beat he hears.]

Very healthy.

[He turns so he can kiss the lines of her collarbones.]

[longlegs]

[ The dress drapes off her shoulders, leaving her with her bra, one strap slipping off the side next. Arching her back, chest pushing forward while she cradles his head close, Mila rolls her hips in a slow, circular motion. She cups his cheeks next, nudges him to look up so she can come down for a kiss, indulgent and wet. ]

[mygoodsir]

[He kisses her back languidly, savouring the taste of her mouth, the feel of her tongue. He's in no particular rush, pleased to have someone with whom he can ignore the outside world with. Someone warm.

His hands slide further up her thighs, pushing the skirt ahead of them.]

[longlegs]

[ He's in no rush and she matches the pace, enjoying the warmth, weight, the rhythm of their breathing as she shifts to kiss him from a different angle. Grinning when she stops, Mila affectionately rests her hand on top of his, then slowly climbs off, standing on her high heels again. Bending over, fingers methodically unbutton and unzip his pants. ]

What do you like?

[mygoodsir]

[So tall in those heels! It turns out that he really does love a tall blonde.]

My dear girl, I'll eat you out as long as you can stand the beard.

[longlegs]

[ She pauses, watching him with a small smile. She wasn't... quite expecting that. Usually guys expect to be the ones who receive first, especially when Mila's the one inviting them over like this. Regaining her composure a little, it becomes a grin. ]

Really?

[mygoodsir]

Of course.

[He looks up at her with a smile.]

Is that an uncommon offer?

[longlegs]

Kind of. I'm used to being the one who... [ She shakes it off, laughing softly to dismiss that thought, ] I'm not complaining, though. Do you want me to lie down?

[mygoodsir]

However is most comfortable for you, my dear. Laying down, sitting on my face, against a wall... Although admittedly if I'm going to be kneeling on the floor I will request a pillow for my knees. Life after thirty is all about joint preservation.

[longlegs]

[ Charmed, Mila goes quiet for another moment, soft excitement as she looks at the bed behind Harry. Caressing his face, planting a kiss on his lips, she climbs onto the mattress, chest more exposed on her hands and knees, crawling with heavy shoes until she's turning to lie down on her back and rest her head on the pillows. Her legs fold and part for him, waiting for him to turn around. ]

Is this okay for your joints?

[mygoodsir]

[He turns, smiling softly.]

Oh, yes. I think that will do quite nicely.

[He scoots on up between her legs, pushing her skirts up, so that he can see what he's doing. He drops his head to kiss a wet line from knee to the inside of one thigh. One hand rests on the opposite leg while the other investigates for any underthings, which will be summarily removed.]