𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

text — un: LOVECOOK

[scone]

i hope you enjoyed your sweet treat today. you looked so pretty at the table tonight!
let me know if you require a midnight snack. i'm at your service. 💖

[ he would never send something so sweet to his husband ]

[dictator]

My beloved, have you become recently concussed by any chance?

[scone]

[ oh. him. ]

you're not coming to bed tonight, are you?
i'll call you if i get stood up.

[ likely percentage: high. ]

[dictator]

Much as I love being your second choice, I'm busy tonight. Date. Have fun with yours, she sounds pretty.

[scone]

[ this fuckin guy ]

who the hell agreed to go out with you?

[dictator]

A cute girl. She has eyes like emeralds. You can see the future in them.
Jealous? Don't be. You're my favorite. Obviously.

[scone]

green eyes? since when has that been your type?
what color's her hair?

[dictator]

I don't have a type. I'm attracted to the soul.
Butter colored. She's very cute. Want to meet her?

[scone]

you're cute when you talk like a rejected fortune cookie.
you went and found yourself a blonde girl? what the hell is the black wig for then? forgot already?

[dictator]

I don't forget anything. You're perfect. You know what I like.
The girl's not for keeping. She's just a fan, that's all.

[scone]

need your ego fed for a night then?
why don't you just wank off to your magazine spreads? i have them in my room.

[dictator]

Sounds like you've been wanking off to them.
Do you really have them? That's so sweet.