𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[kobes]

you're the only catholic i respect, bitch
have i told you that lately?

pretty sure that's in chicken coop for the insane homo's soul
or something

where'll you go? after, i mean.

[holyposition]

I went to Catholic school, but I don't really practice anymore. I barely count. I love you too, though.

Home, I guess? I have an apartment in Venice. Maybe my dad's, if I need to lay low. You've been there.

Maybe visit the US. If I haven't fucked things up with Hawk too much.

[kobes]

you're italian, i don't think you're allowed not to be catholic 🙄

yeah, it's nice. i dunno where i'll go. somewhere she won't think to look.
like iowa. or siberia.

i sincerely doubt you've fucked things up THAT bad. you talk to him yet?

[holyposition]

mamma mia i lov-a da confession

You could come with me.

A little. I was drunk. It might have made things worse.

[kobes]

omg you dork
i'm screencapping that to send to every guy you give a boner to 😝

yeah? to venice?

drunk teo is sexy, okay, thats when you get all messy and teary and shit
if that doesn't turn him on, he's busted

[holyposition]

Go ahead, they’ll like it. All the brits and americans get so horny about Italian.

Or Calabria. Or...wherever.

It’s not as cute over the phone. But turning him on isn’t the problem. That’s easy. I fucked up the feelings part.

[kobes]

and the aussies????
forgot the most important country!!!

calabria doesn't even sound like a real place lmao
i've only been to rome. so...not there.

feelings is easier with a boner, trust me. you even know how many marriage offers i've turned down?
at least he's talking to you tho

[holyposition]

that’s where the vineyard is!!

Enough that you could be divorced already, I know.

Yeah. Some. Maybe I should just cut and run, if it’s already hard, how tough is it gonna be when I have to get to work in Nassau? We barely know each other. He doesn’t know what my life is like outside the family vacations. What if he doesn’t like it? I’d rather get dumped today than two months from now if that’s how it’s gonna be.

[kobes]

teo be so fr
ur dad isn't gonna let me cloister in the family house

i'd be such a hot divorcee 😒😒😒

probably harder, yeah. he might not.
do you still wanna try it, though? that's the important part, baby t.

[holyposition]

House is emptier than ever now. You might be surprised.

Yeah. I want to try.

[kobes]

yeah?
you guys ever finish remodeling the pool?
roomie's teaching me to swim.
it'd be fun to stay somewhere i can practice, maybe.

then try, dumbass. 😘
quit trying to talk yourself out of it
you might be surprised, idk

[holyposition]

Yeah? You like him, then?

I'm not trying to talk myself out of it! I just don't want to look desperate. He probably has men throwing themselves at him all the time.

[kobes]

he's nice. it's weird.

you're so good at talking yourself into and outta stuff, baby t, i love just watching you spin u know that
not this time tho cause u got all these feelings and shit involved
yeah, but those men ain't you. so its different 😌😌😌

[holyposition]

Have you...? 🍆🍆

Well stop watching me spin!! Rude!! I'm going crazy over here, I feel like a different person. Spiraling out over some guy like a teenager.

[kobes]

NO which is the WEIRD PART
we literally were in the shower together and he just like
washed my hair
didn't cop a feel or anything
who does that?????

okay okay stop spinning u cute lil cyclone ❤️
it's gonna be fine. hes a guy. you can handle this.

[holyposition]

He's a sweet guy. Filthy when the time is right, but he likes to make sure first. Respectful. My dad actually liked him, which kind of ruined it, but Quentin's great.

I'm so horny I cant even think straight I haven't seen a dick besides my own since that stupid gossip thing went up

[kobes]

sweet, respectful AND parent approved?
what's the catch?

are you serious
that was like
days ago
how are you alive

[holyposition]

Besides parent approved? He's busy. The training schedule to get to the Olympics is no joke.

If i daydream hard enough it's almost like Hawk's dick is in my mouth. I'll wear him down.

[kobes]

right. yeah.
he's got a reputation too. a good one.
don't wanna fuck with that.

you should text him that
tell him ur having dick psychosis
and the only cure is vitamin d
😘😘😘

[holyposition]

If he were just a little bit slower, he might have worked with me. He's not so squeaky clean when yoy get to know him.
But like, in a good way.

He's upset because he doesnt think I'm serious. I'm not using the phrase DICK PSYCHOSIS

[kobes]

well, he stole my underwear, so that's a start i guess
idk maybe he's not into me.

you're right, that's too highbrow for an opening text.
tell him you miss him or something sappy like that.

[holyposition]

Why would he steal your underwear, then?

Koby, I'm working on it.

[kobes]

because it's cute underwear and he has good taste?

OH okay jeez chill
good
that's good
how's it going?

[nosy ass.]

[holyposition]

It wouldn't even fit him.

Slowly.

[kobes]

that'd kinda be the point.
a muscly guy in lingerie??? peak.

well, yeah, that's kinda how serious shit goes.
you need a distraction? wanna go make out in the casino again?