𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

damon salvatore | the vampire diaries | ota

[blooded]

[interpersonally]

Damon isn't weak, his heart just bleeds a little harder than the rest of us.

[blooded]

[ deep, deep sigh... ]

Well. At least you're defending me, I suppose.

[interpersonally]

( A second. Two. He hadn't sent this - he wasn't talking - a deep, deep sigh and one more second. )

Would I do anything less?

[blooded]

Would you?

[ search your heart, stefano. ]

Is it anyone whose opinion I would care about?

[ that's family, mostly. dr. strange, giles—koby, oddly enough—gale, even jenevelle. ]

[interpersonally]

No, not anyone who would make an impact. But, I will defend you. Always, brother.

auverse

[kobes]

what i NEED is 500k and someone to fuck me so hard it realigns my spine but i GUESS ice cream works

[blooded]

[ ...this definitely wasn't meant for him.

howeverrrr... ]

Gelato's better. I'll have some sent to your room—ice cream too, so you can compare.

[kobes]

[koby's remarkably unobservant -- he doesn't even clock that it's damon, not his nephew, just texts back half-distracted]

the fancy italian shit?
had that in rome once
la delizia dell'estate
or whatever, i told u my italian's shit

you not gonna bring it yourself???? rude

[blooded]

Jakob, look at who you're texting.

[ pause while he presumably does that..... ]

I could bring it to you but something tells me I would, how do you say, harsh the vibe.

[kobes]

OH





shit
sorry




what vibe lmao i'm lying in my sweatpants thinking about ice cream
that's not really a vibe

[blooded]

It was funny

[ so don't apologize, he hasn't been laughing a lot this trip! ]

I'm not well-versed on "vibes" but I'm sure that's some kind of vibe.

Maybe a sad one

[kobes]

the network here is shit okay my pics have been going all over
be glad u didn't get an eyeful

i'm not sad
i'm hungry and bored
it's ttly different

[blooded]

Be patient, you'll have ice cream and gelato in less than ten minutes.

As for the boredom, I'd offer to help if I didn't fear for my virtue.

[ his adulterous virtue! ]

[kobes]

oh shit
you mean that?
you don't gotta
i mean



i already ate.

yeah well you're the only guy here with that i think.
except maybe the hot priest.

[blooded]

Well, I don't have $500k to give your guardian and I can't help with your spine

So gelato's the least I can offer, really

Signore Dekarios is a far better man than me, I'm not that virtuous—merely tragically monogamous.

Tragically for everyone else, of course.

[kobes]

it's fine, i took ibuprofen
nobody's got that much money except god. i'm doomed.

you don't gotta be nice to me, you know.

right, sure. i don't think ANYONE here's virtuous.

[blooded]

I don't "gotta" be anything. I want to be nice to you.




And you're not doomed. At the very least she'll die one day.

[kobes]

why? what's in it for you?

yeah, in like a million years. she's gonna be one of those people who lives to a hundred outta pure spite.

[blooded]

Healing my inner child.



Well, that's only if she goes naturally. A lot of things can happen out in the world, you know. It's a dangerous place.

[kobes]

at least you're honest
i'm not a child. haven't been for a real long time.

yeah, i know, i'm from australia, remember?
what are you implying though

[blooded]

Well I was mostly joking
But yes, I know. You still deserve to be helped. Compassion isn't only for children.

Nothing in specific.
Nothing that you need to be concerned with.

[kobes]

that's really sweet of you but i'm fine. i can take care of myself.

yeah cause that isn't suspicious at ALL.
don't do anything stupid. she ruins lives, thats how she works. i don't want that shit anywhere near teo.

cw child abuse

[blooded]

Be honest with yourself—how's that working out?
Don't answer me, just think about it.




When I was young, 11 or 12, my mother tried to leave my father. I discovered later that she'd stolen some of his money, waited for one of his business trips—I think she intended to take Stefano and I with her, it was a lot of money, but I've never been sure.
It didn't matter. My father discovered the money was missing before he left for his trip. He waited until we were all at dinner to bring it up, only he didn't know who'd done it. He accused me.

cw child abuse continued

[kobes]

[the answer: badly. it's going badly.

after a pause, wherein he debates being a brat and not answering:] then what happened?