𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[kobes]

yeah, baby t's my bestie

[which -- doesn't make it any clearer, probably.]

ones on my thighs don't really. stuff that was easy to stick n poke, for the most part?
back tat's a family thing.
i thought about getting "choke me daddy" on my throat but neck tattoos are scary.

[homosexuals]

Oh. Well - it's nice to meet you, Tim's bestie. What's your name? I'm Hawk.

A family crest? Or honoring a relative? I had an uncle in the army - he and his buddies got the ugliest damn tattoos I've ever seen, but it was meaningful. Sweet, really.

Right, just the neck tattoo is the scary part. [not the choking...or the bomb drop about wanting "choke me daddy" anywhere on his person.]

[kobes]

jakob. koby for short. i know who you are, hawk ☺️

more like a calling card. alvida's not classy enough to have an actual crest.
that way of saying you think my tattoos are ugly? ouch, harsh, hawkie 🥺🥺🥺

yeah, hear those things hurt like a bitch. the ones on my legs i barely felt.
the tongue piercing hurt, tho

[homosexuals]

Well, pleased to meet you, Koby. I'd ask what you know, but I'm sure there's some sort of code that would prevent you from asking.

What - oh, no! No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Just that they aren't all as nice or as intricate as yours, even if I don't think I ought to be seeing 'em.

Alvida - you know, it doesn't ring a bell. Is that your employer? A relative?

Sure sounds like you've got...quite a lot of decorations going on there.

[kobes]

bro code, yeah. it's in the geneva convention.
i keep my ears and eyes open, though.
and we've hit up a couple of the same parties, i think.

["think", like koby hadn't mentally catalogued everyone at every single event.]

aw, stop it, i'm just giving you shit, babe.
you really are that sweet, arencha?
do little birds follow you around when you go outside, or is it just cute fuzzy forest creatures and twinks?

yeah, it probably wouldn't. "love duck hotels", maybe?
cheapo shitty sleazy resort shit.
like sandals on meth.
she's my guardian. adopted mom. employer. whatever you wanna call it.

sure do, sweetheart.
ears, belly button, tongue
i'd do nips but they snag on everything 🙄🙄🙄
teo was with me for some of them. you'd be surprised what sounds like a good idea when you're 6 shots in.

[homosexuals]

Right up there next to treatment for prisoners of war, right?

[ha ha. what a dad joke.]

There've been plenty here and the summer's barely started. You'll have to say hello next time we end up at one.

No - I mean, I just try and be as decent of a person as I can. What happened the other night, which I'm sure you saw or heard about...wasn't my finest hour.

Ah, no. Can't say that I've ever been. She has you working at one of those?

Hey now, I was young once too. Tell me one thing - did he ever think about getting any himself?

[kobes]

you a politician AND a tennis hotshot?

sure have. and i've been to eeeevery one.
never miss a chance to get friendly with the other guests, yaknow.

["friendly". "say hello". these are euphemisms koby's used to, but -- he has the sneaking suspicion hawk means them wholeheartedly.]

i heard.
sounds like too much booze and too many people in a room and nobody bothering to think straight.
you weren't the only one who was a mess, hawk, don't worry.

yeah, since i was a kid.
big believer in hard work. earning your way.
good family values, that's her.

you'll have to ask him yourself, mister fuller.
he said you two talked, a bit?
after the less-than-fine hour, i mean.

[homosexuals]

A politician? God no, I -

[it's strange, the sensation that washes over him. something consuming and inky - swallowing him whole with a sudden lurch of wrongness. he belongs in dc. this life isn't real, this isn't him, it's - ]

I'm content with the tennis. Though I might be on the other side of the court sooner rather than later.

Well, you're a polite young man. I'm sure they appreciate it. :)

[haha. ha. yes, he means all of it at face value.]

Thanks for not judging me too harshly. I wasn't thinking straight after what I saw. I haven't exactly been out in the dating world in awhile, you know? I fell hard and fast and thought he might feel the same. But we are talking, yeah.

...You've been working at those since you were a kid? That doesn't seem - like the best environment to be growing up around. No offense.

[kobes]

[there's a pause, and normally koby doesn't give a shit about pauses, but that -- that's. that means something h̸̙̰́e̴̬͒̏ ̴̡͙̍̉k̴̖̃́ͅn̶̳̋o̶̥̰̎̆ͅw̵̨̋s̸̨̳͇̏͗̾ ̶̤̬͇̑͗̚ḭ̶͊̕͠t̴͇̻͋͝ ̵̭͕̿̔͝d̸̪́͂ơ̴̯̤͗ẻ̴̳̱͝s̷͖̭̅]

not interested in a career change?
can't say i blame you, yeah
you're damn good at the tennis shit, from what i hear.

polite young man.
sure, let's go with that.

and who am i to judge?
pretty sure everyone at that party got an eyeful of everything.
i wasn't exactly subtle.
and it's not my place to say or whatever, but teo's a good guy. a really good guy.
so, y'know. you should be so lucky and all that.
just see where stuff goes. he's talked about you a lot.
a LOT.

[there's a beat, a momentary falter, like there always is when koby steps too close to something old and hurt and buried.]

it was real educational.
i'll say that.
anyway i was twelve when she adopted me. not a baby.
twelve's basically grown, right?

[homosexuals]

No. I mean - I was good at tennis. That was before I fucked up the knee and inched closer to forty. Now everyone's pushing retirement and coaching.

What about you? Twelve isn't that grown - not grown enough to be working in that environment. What would you do? If you could do anything, I mean.

He is a good guy. It's part of the reason I - well, that I liked him so much. Enough to think we had something special going. But I should have seen the signs, and I don't want to push him. I never wanted that. And if he's happier with someone else...then he should be with Harry.

[kobes]

oh, yeah. guess i didn't think about that.
being forty's cool though. that's like the hottest age.

[is he helping?]

i'm not twelve ANYMORE.
i turned twenty last month, thank u very much.
and i dunno, is there something better than going to crazy parties and hanging out with hot, rich people?
that's kinda my whole skill set.

oh my god.
you're both stupid. affectionately.
teo's like composing sad poetry about you, dumbass.
i don't think "special" is off the table.

[homosexuals]

I dunno about that, but Tim doesn't seem to mind either.

No. But you were once, and that's time you don't get back.

I got lucky with my mom - dad passed when I was young. She accepted everything about me, and she protected me from anyone trying to take advantage. You seem like a smart, perceptive young man. And I think partying among hot, sometimes vapid, and definitely sketchy rich people isn't the only thing you'd be good at.

Sorry. I sound like I'm giving you an old guy lecture, don't I?

...Poetry? I didn't think he'd be interested in anything like that. Well, thanks for the tip. I'm not - closing myself off to anything, you know? But I don't want to push him.

[kobes]

he doesn’t. trust me.

yeah, well, my childhood was shit, me and everyone on the planet. it’s fine, i’m not like
deeply horribly traumatized or whateverrrrrr
happier being an adult.

well. maybe not everyone’s childhood.
you still talk to her? your mom?

nah, that was a solid middle-aged guy lecture, at the oldest 😝
you're sweet, y'know.
but i know what i’m good at, hawkins.
old dog, new tricks.
i’ll be making money like this for a good long while, til i lose my looks, at least.

yeah, sure, “poetry”
longass whiny texts at three am when he misses u rocking his world 🙄🙄🙄
push. i’m telling you as his bestie: push.