𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[kobes]

oh. yeah, nevermind. maybe they'll all get hit by a bus or something.

wait you're gonna be there?
in person?
teo, no.

huh.
and he knows its me, right? you didn't lie and say its some tragic little innocent orphan?
weird.

[holyposition]

I'm not asking my guy down there to do anything I'm afraid to do myself. I'll have an alibi. Sugar farm.

He does. He's gritting his teeth and being brave.

[kobes]

GOD you're annoying
fine
but i'm coming too

overcoming his internalized kobyphobia?

[holyposition]

No u

I'll keep you updated on the timeline

I think you earned some of it bestie

[kobes]

can you do it in a secret code?
always wanted to speak in a secret code

i was in a silly MOOD
jeez you tell a guy you wanna get into his pants ONE TIME and he thinks you're a menace 🙄🙄🙄

[holyposition]

I don't know if anyone really does that. But if you want :)

Probably because of me. I wouldn't have told you to go ahead if I thought he'd go for it.

[kobes]

i dunno, you're the big subterfuge guy, not me.
i'm the hot distraction.

yeah, it's your fault. i like that narrative way better.

there's something else i hadn't thought about. she pays for all my hrt stuff.
you know anyone who fences that shit?

[holyposition]

Not personally, but I know someone who does. We can still get you what you need.

[kobes]

course you do, cause you're a goddamn saint.




thanks, teo.
you don't have to do any of this shit, i know that.
i know it's a big damn risk.

[holyposition]

Because when you protest the Vatican for its homophobia and intolerance, you meet like minded activists.

What are friends for if they wouldn't commit a handful of felonies for you?

[kobes]

you're the only catholic i respect, bitch
have i told you that lately?

pretty sure that's in chicken coop for the insane homo's soul
or something

where'll you go? after, i mean.

[holyposition]

I went to Catholic school, but I don't really practice anymore. I barely count. I love you too, though.

Home, I guess? I have an apartment in Venice. Maybe my dad's, if I need to lay low. You've been there.

Maybe visit the US. If I haven't fucked things up with Hawk too much.

[kobes]

you're italian, i don't think you're allowed not to be catholic 🙄

yeah, it's nice. i dunno where i'll go. somewhere she won't think to look.
like iowa. or siberia.

i sincerely doubt you've fucked things up THAT bad. you talk to him yet?

[holyposition]

mamma mia i lov-a da confession

You could come with me.

A little. I was drunk. It might have made things worse.

[kobes]

omg you dork
i'm screencapping that to send to every guy you give a boner to 😝

yeah? to venice?

drunk teo is sexy, okay, thats when you get all messy and teary and shit
if that doesn't turn him on, he's busted

[holyposition]

Go ahead, they’ll like it. All the brits and americans get so horny about Italian.

Or Calabria. Or...wherever.

It’s not as cute over the phone. But turning him on isn’t the problem. That’s easy. I fucked up the feelings part.

[kobes]

and the aussies????
forgot the most important country!!!

calabria doesn't even sound like a real place lmao
i've only been to rome. so...not there.

feelings is easier with a boner, trust me. you even know how many marriage offers i've turned down?
at least he's talking to you tho

[holyposition]

that’s where the vineyard is!!

Enough that you could be divorced already, I know.

Yeah. Some. Maybe I should just cut and run, if it’s already hard, how tough is it gonna be when I have to get to work in Nassau? We barely know each other. He doesn’t know what my life is like outside the family vacations. What if he doesn’t like it? I’d rather get dumped today than two months from now if that’s how it’s gonna be.

[kobes]

teo be so fr
ur dad isn't gonna let me cloister in the family house

i'd be such a hot divorcee 😒😒😒

probably harder, yeah. he might not.
do you still wanna try it, though? that's the important part, baby t.

[holyposition]

House is emptier than ever now. You might be surprised.

Yeah. I want to try.

[kobes]

yeah?
you guys ever finish remodeling the pool?
roomie's teaching me to swim.
it'd be fun to stay somewhere i can practice, maybe.

then try, dumbass. 😘
quit trying to talk yourself out of it
you might be surprised, idk

[holyposition]

Yeah? You like him, then?

I'm not trying to talk myself out of it! I just don't want to look desperate. He probably has men throwing themselves at him all the time.

[kobes]

he's nice. it's weird.

you're so good at talking yourself into and outta stuff, baby t, i love just watching you spin u know that
not this time tho cause u got all these feelings and shit involved
yeah, but those men ain't you. so its different 😌😌😌

[holyposition]

Have you...? 🍆🍆

Well stop watching me spin!! Rude!! I'm going crazy over here, I feel like a different person. Spiraling out over some guy like a teenager.

[kobes]

NO which is the WEIRD PART
we literally were in the shower together and he just like
washed my hair
didn't cop a feel or anything
who does that?????

okay okay stop spinning u cute lil cyclone ❤️
it's gonna be fine. hes a guy. you can handle this.