draino | 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

Darling, farthest thing from it. You seem very human, and that's a good thing.

[Theo - Theo feels like there's something he's pushing through when he says that, reaching back to a time where Harry's company has been had before - like he wants to comfort him like an old friend. As something more. The woozy sense of deja vu makes his head spin a bit, but he pushes up to his feet, and grabs one of Harry's hands to pull him toward the bed.]

Would you like to talk about something? Listen to me and my vapid drama that's been happening lately? Ask me something else - anything else - about me? I can talk for hours. You'll be cozy.

[Harry goes, docile as a lamb.]

Why is it vapid?

[Teddie gets Harry into bed - doing the duty of loosening belts, removing shoes and unbuttoning shirts for comfort as needed. Then he crawls up into bed next to him, a lot longer in length than a certain other bedwarming twink, but Teddie seems to have an almost familiar way about him nonetheless - finding that same nook in Harry's arm, fitting into it against all odds. He sighs, resting his head to Harry's chest.]

I don't know. All of this... fighting and drama, it seemed to matter a lot before. But now I'm wondering if it's not just... stupid and silly? There are other things that should be more important, don't you think?

I think that, when it comes to the human animal, we've a very hard time distinguishing between important and petty when our emotions are involved. It all feels the same, and so we act accordingly.

Which is my long winded way of saying that yes, world hunger matters more but I'm still going to be consumed with arguments with my ex husband.

[He strokes Teddie's hair softly.]

What's got you upset?

[Yes, Harry, but shouldn't we worry more about the weird house stuff instead of - oh, the hair petting is nice. He's coaxed into speaking from it:]

I met up with my ex here too - we were... bad for each other, before. Like, terrible? Bringing out the worst in each other. But we're sort of reigniting things again against all the better judgement. And against the heavy input of his cousin's judgement. She um, she hates me? Yeah, she hates me.

[sigh]

And then he also punched one of my friends in the face but on one hand he was asking for it because he said something awful but on the other hand, it's not really okay to punch someone. Especially twinks with good bone structure. It can really be devastating.

[To the nose, mostly.]

And now he knows I'm fucking my ex again, even after that. So it's... bad. I'm a bad friend.

[Dryly:] Yes, we must protect the twinks. They're an endangered species.

I don't think you're necessarily a bad friend. You had a relationship with this ex before, correct? Did you friend hate him then? Right now it sounds like you were dealing with your complicated romance and your friend just sort of wandered in and acted a right prick.

But then, I was fucking the same man as my good friend and neglected to tell him, so. Take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Do you ever find yourself making decisions you know are horrible... and just not knowing why?

[Teddie softly sighs, stroking his hand against Harry's chest, playing designs into his chest hair.]

Domingos and I are like... magnets. We repelled each other so violently before but now it's all flipped the good way, and... I don't know. I can't get enough of him. Maybe because it's such a bad thing? Did you avoid telling your friend on purpose, or did it just... not occur to you to mention it?

God, yes. Especially lately.

Domingos. What a lovely name. Tell me, now that you're back together, are you still awful to one another? Do you hurt each other on purpose?

I didn't know at first. And then... I didn't want to hurt him. I truly did not. And I was frightened. He's a much better man than I am, and I suppose I feared the competition. Which is rubbish - there was no contest to begin with.

It's like I can't control myself.

[Like he's being put into scenarios and just reacting, like someone else is playing dollhouse with his life. He's quiet for a beat, listening to Harry and also keeping his ear to the sound of his heartbeat in his chest.]

We're not awful... And if we do hurt each other, it is on purpose - but like, in a way we both kind of want? Instead of before, when it was hurt feelings... now it's more like. Bruises. I like bruises?

[Softly shrugging.]

Did it blow up on you? Mine's blowing up on me.

I understand.

[Harry smiles, and it's a gentle, caring thing.]

My dear boy, that sounds perfectly lovely to me. A little bruising, well. That's not a bad thing at all when it's desired. So to me, and this is just an opinion, it sounds like you've found a way to make a second chance work.

Oh, yes. I've lost my friend, I think. The lover, too.

I mean, it works between us. But his mothers hate me, his cousin hates me... my friends hate him...

[And Teddie likes being liked. Is he willing to risk it for another chance to keep a flame alight?]

Your lover didn't think anything of telling you? Or didn't know you both were acquainted? I can't say it sounds like it's all your fault here, honestly.

But you love him. Do you not?

Ah, he didn't know we were close. In retrospect, he probably didn't listen to me all that often. He wasn't interested in romance.

[Harry shakes his head ruefully.] I've a talent for finding people that don't want the same things I do, I suppose.

I do. But I am also helplessly in love with a girl - and I don't know how that will complicate things, either.

[Poly life is so hard, Harry. As... you... know.]

Is that what you want? Romance?

Do they get on? It might be a far more simple solution than you suspect.

[Harry combs Teddie's hair with his fingers.]

I've been told several times that I don't know what I want. Which isn't true, but I suppose the truth of the matter is so terribly banal that it seems fake. I wish to love, and be loved in return.

I'm afraid to see. What if one of them hates the other? What if - ah, she's Iggy's friend too, she might just hate Dom for decking him.

[He's quiet for a beat.]

I think that's what I want too. But I put too much stock in other people's opinions of me, I think. I'm a desperate people pleaser. Which works when you're putting out for fun but... I've spun my wheels out when it comes to relationships. The two I have right now feel so close to something, though.

[...]

Hey, you know... good things happen in threes, right?

Or she might listen to his side of the story. Might even talk your twink friend down.

Teddie, I am not a smart man when it comes to relationships, but I do know this: if you don't try, you will regret it.

So they say. [He has to smile.] A threesome then, must be very lucky.

[Teddie laughs, just lightly - turning up his chin to look at Harry to address the most pressing issue at hand:]

I meant I've already got two romances, I could always make it three.

[But, you know. Threesomes are also a valid option - he will save imagining Dom and Mila together for later, when he can zone out and get off on it valiantly. He adjusts the way he rests, arm slung over Harry.]

... Just sayin'.

[Harry smiles, but his eyes are so sad.]

And I've two exes here in this accursed house. That leaves room for one more. I'm just not sure my heart could take it.

Well, this is where I could tell you it's time to embrace a cup half full instead of half empty but - I'll leave that to you. You know where I am if you ever want to roll those dice.

[Teddie just gets this feeling that it'd be fun. But he also knows Harry's going through it. He nuzzles his chest again.]

You deserve something good. If not now, in the near future.

You're a lovely boy, Teddie.

[And a good hearted one. He's not sure how he knows this, but he does.

His hand cups Teddie's cheek.]

I don't. But I will hope for it all the same.

Have you decided if you'll stand by your man?

I don't think I could peel away from him now, even if I tried. But it won't be the first or the last mistake I make, if it doesn't turn out well. I'm... very bad at making good choices. Ask anyone.

[Self-deprecatory, he doesn't have the confidence in this life he does in the other - his artistic career was bought for him and drowned in drugs and alcohol. Even still...]

I think I'm making a few better choices lately, though. Maybe it is possible to change.

You and me both.

At your age? Yes. Yes, I believe it is. I think the older we get the more people tend to atrophy.

Oh come now, you're hardly that much older than me - I've dated muuuuch older...

[Only it's a weird jigsaw piece in his head, trying to remember who and when - or how that relationship worked or didn't work. It's again like something's dream-like and not quite right about it, but he tries not to dwell.]

You don't inspire much confidence in me for facing my thirties, I must say.

How old are you? All of twenty- five?

I am nearing my forties. It's depressing. Sometimes I feel I wasn't meant to make it this long.

Around there.

[Younger, supposedly - but he feels like twenty six is a closer number. And so is something much, much higher.]

Oh, I feel you on that. Feels like it's just stretching on, huh? Maybe you should embrace a mid-life crisis. I'll ride in your sports car with you.

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