𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

[pronounce]

what a month! this is texts from last night.
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

alina starkov — grishaverse.

[peasant]

( 01. ) things may suck now. but at least they're not as bad as they will be soon
( 02. ) sorry i didn’t reply, i was busy having twenty-seven panic attacks about my future
( 03. ) of course i have a praise kink. i was ignored as a child
( 04. ) if i was a frog and you were a frog would you let me be a guest on your lily pad or no
( 05. ) imagine being a squirter in ravka and they call you a witch
( 06. ) i've been closer to death than a stable relationship
( 07. ) text her.

3.

[provoke]

There is a term for that?

[peasant]

If it exists, this place has a term for it.
I think it makes me sound positively normal, compared to some ( freaks here ) other fixations.

( looking at the foot fetishism call-out in maxine's post, specifically ... )

[provoke]

[ he must investigate this further. what words can he use to insult more people? to torment others under veil of peace? ]

I suppose a place that encourages debasement in many forms would as well encourage unnatural fixations. And praise is what you have chosen? Praise alone, through words?

4

[dictator]

( frankly is very used to these weird ass questions from both alina and alia, so )

Yes.
We could go on little frog dates. And eat flies.

[peasant]

So, an ordinary day for you, then?

( comedy queen thank u for the standing applause )

[dictator]

I think it’ll take fewer flies to fill me up, as a frog. Smaller stomach.

1/2

[peasant]

I'd eat your leftover flies for you. And then we could live out the rest of our lives in Alia's bathtub, once we're inevitably kidnapped from our pond. It would all be very romantic.

[peasant]

Now I'm upset I'm not really a frog.

( 😔 )

[dictator]

( screams into fists )

We can still go live in her bathtub and be doted on.
The only thing better than being frogs either you, is being humans with you.

[peasant]

But frogs never have to worry about being frogs.
It sounds peaceful. And uncomplicated. We could just exist.

( her heart is too mushy-soft in paul's grip to turn hard with reality, to tell him the naked truth: that trying to be human exhausts her the most. that she lives every single day, now, combating the urge to slough off her skin and peel apart her bones until she's nothing but dust. that she wishes she could disappear, more than anything, little mouse girl longing for the days of her little mouse hole.

so she pivots, dizzyingly fast, no warning: )

If you were cursed to become a frog, and I was a princess, do you think my kiss would rescue you?

( babe if you were a frog would i be your true love's kiss yes or no )

01

[kobes]

I've always admired your positive outlook, Alina. It's inspiring.

[peasant]

And all I needed to achieve that level of unbearable optimism were two knives in me.

( :) :) :) good news all her emotions have been replaced with bad, morbid sarcasm. )

[kobes]

Well, you're honest at least. I keep thinking about how bad it could get and so far my only idea is razor blade blenders or rabid sharks.

[peasant]

Giant spiders popping out of a cake to tell you happy birthday.

[kobes]

Oh, that's a good one. Flying spiders, maybe. That speak in the voices of your most feared enemies and spit fire.

[peasant]

Fire that makes you want to have sex with everyone you see, turns you into a spider yourself — or both, knowing this place.

[kobes]

There are at least five people here who'd think that was awesome, and that's only the ones off the top of my head.

5

[money]

pfft
as if i needed more confirmation men are terrible at getting women off
im just assuming men are in charge in ravka

[peasant]

Nikolai didn't tip you off to that?

( real coping with your bestie's disappearance is shit-talking. )

If you want to hear something truly frightening, he's the best hope Ravka has for the future.
We have a shortage of everything, including decent men.

[money]

oh yeah
i kinda forgot he was the guy in charge

( made a king hold her purse 😔 sigh )

i say you steal the crown while he’s sleeping, empty the royal vaults, and then go on vacation for the rest of your life on some tropical island with a lot of margaritas and shirtless men cutting open coconuts or something

[peasant]

That sounds more like your future.
You've already got the shirtless manservants part down.

( some women get all the luck fr )

If you're going to ask them to split coconuts for you, ask them to do it with their bare hands.
I think everyone in the manor would thank you for it.

[money]

you know, i never tell them to take their shirts off
not that i'm complaining

( even koby's getting kinda, when he bothers being shirtless around her (rare) like a good bestie should )

god don't give zoro any ideas
he just got off his squashing watermelons with his thighs thing