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what a month! this is texts from last night.
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)
what a month! this is texts from last night.
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)
1. he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
2. i don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
3. there's no food at the bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread!
4. either this place is haunted or i'm far more drunk than i thought.
5. i've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
1. head not empty, many abstract uncommunicatable thoughts.
2. my possible career choices: a.) cloud, b.) flower
3.) in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
4.) warm water tastes round and cold water tastes pointy.
5.) text him.
Edited 2024-10-29 12:41 (UTC)
1. I woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What happened?
2. apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling.
3. If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
4. There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. god bless leopard tube tops.
5. I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
6. wildcard, text him!
1. If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
2. don't remember much from last night, but i recall slipping you the tongue. for that i apologise.
3. Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later.
4. That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5. text him whatever!!
2. don't remember much from last night, but i recall slipping you the tongue. for that i apologise.
3. Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later.
4. That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5. text him whatever!!
1. I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out.
2. you were really good. your skill is increasing over time
3. I immediately regret the tequila decision.
4. i dont get why youre mad at me.
5. text him whatever!!
2. you were really good. your skill is increasing over time
3. I immediately regret the tequila decision.
4. i dont get why youre mad at me.
5. text him whatever!!
one. If you're truly angry at him, do what I would: give him a heartfelt apology for all of your faults in your relationship, and then castrate him. He will never trust anyone ever again.
two. Tim Laughlin just walked in thirty minutes late to dinner smelling like another man and clutching his neck like we can't see the large bruise there. Hopeless.
three. Pretending to care about other people's feelings is becoming a full time profession.
I want him to trust me, and I want his genitals intact. That would not be helpful at all.
oo1. I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the maze the standard.
oo2. You were impatient while we waited for our tequila shots so you licked and salted MY hand to get prepared.
oo3. I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
oo4. text her!
1. some of you lack the dissociative skills needed to emotionally survive being repeatedly hunted for sport and it shows.
2. if you all be nice to me i'll stop being evil.
3. does your man or lady know you get off on being strangled or is that just between us?
4. you know who actually has big dick energy? the lord.
5. or text him!
1. I have been many things to many people, but I'm afraid I don't believe I qualify as a "thot".
2. I think the staff are starting to wonder about the blood on the bedsheets. Perhaps we need to start thinking about putting down towels?
3. If you'd like to know what I'm wearing, I could simply describe it.
4. Did you receive the "forehead kiss" message as well?
5. [ Text him! ]
2. I think the staff are starting to wonder about the blood on the bedsheets. Perhaps we need to start thinking about putting down towels?
3. If you'd like to know what I'm wearing, I could simply describe it.
4. Did you receive the "forehead kiss" message as well?
5. [ Text him! ]
oo1. can't get off the floor. need more alcohol and/or drugs. send help.
oo2. how good ya think they clean the rooms here? i got a black-light and a bet i can install it and see nothing weird.
oo3. a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set their room on fire, yeah?
oo4. our conversation went from my mid-life crises to you choking me reallll fast.
oo5. text her!
oo1. you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
oo2. Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the fangs.
oo3. I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
oo4. What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
oo5. text him!
1. i have been having a weird fucking time.
2. sorry i didn't answer your call. i don't do that.
3. when i say "i'll figure it out" i mean i'll just adapt to whatever new level of hell is coming.
4. woke up with $140 in twenties in my pants and have never been more puzzled.
5. text him
1. I bled all over the music room. I shanβt be back.
2. What exactly is an autopsy?
3. What song is the best to cry to?
4. I mean to get entirely drunk on whatever sweet liquor they have here, and if bad decisions are made, none shall fault me.
5. Heyβ- I died. You need to be nice to me.
2. What exactly is an autopsy?
3. What song is the best to cry to?
4. I mean to get entirely drunk on whatever sweet liquor they have here, and if bad decisions are made, none shall fault me.
5. Heyβ- I died. You need to be nice to me.
1. No, riding a dragon is not a euphemism. Your cock is not that big.
2. I am not a fan of wearing these modern bras, but they do a wonder for my breasts.
3. Is it still a concubine if a queen takes a male consort? There should be another term for βmale whoreβ.
4. I was meant to marry my brother when he traded me for an army that ended up being mine anyway.
2. I am not a fan of wearing these modern bras, but they do a wonder for my breasts.
3. Is it still a concubine if a queen takes a male consort? There should be another term for βmale whoreβ.
4. I was meant to marry my brother when he traded me for an army that ended up being mine anyway.
( 01. ) things may suck now. but at least they're not as bad as they will be soon
( 02. ) sorry i didnβt reply, i was busy having twenty-seven panic attacks about my future
( 03. ) of course i have a praise kink. i was ignored as a child
( 04. ) if i was a frog and you were a frog would you let me be a guest on your lily pad or no
( 05. ) imagine being a squirter in ravka and they call you a witch
( 06. ) i've been closer to death than a stable relationship
( 07. ) text her.
Edited 2024-10-29 14:12 (UTC)
1. I should stop calling him daddy, we've argued more in the last 2 months than I ever have with my actual father.
2. I don't care anymore. The chapel's already ruined from all the murders, if you really want an uncomfortable place to have sex, go right ahead.
3. You can come to mine or I can go to yours. Aemond will judge me either way.
4. I was on his lap to stay warm, because they made me wear a costume with no pants!
5. text him!
2. I don't care anymore. The chapel's already ruined from all the murders, if you really want an uncomfortable place to have sex, go right ahead.
3. You can come to mine or I can go to yours. Aemond will judge me either way.
4. I was on his lap to stay warm, because they made me wear a costume with no pants!
5. text him!
i. Yes, my hair grows that color by itself. Yes, everywhere.
ii. The ass gains better be worth it, waking up at 4am is terrible.
iii. I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants.
iv. I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
ii. The ass gains better be worth it, waking up at 4am is terrible.
iii. I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants.
iv. I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i. Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ii. If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me.
iii. She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
iv. Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face.
ii. If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me.
iii. She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
iv. Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face.
( 1. ) Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
( 2. ) I won't bug you after this, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably really really soon: my earrings, the panties ( they're borrowed ), and all of the weapons that I left under your bed. Thanks. Good talk.
( 3. ) On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update: it's a couple!
( 4. ) Whatβs the protocol when you accidentally challenge the entire house to battle? Asking for a friend ( my horrible badger ).
( 5. ) [ TEXT HIM ]
( 1. ) fell down a flight of stairs. found a sex dungeon. was approached someone in a leather harness. help.
( 2. ) yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the LAST step is kidnapping them
( 3. ) they called me a a free range boytoy
( 4. ) i don't make the first move. ever. unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
( 5. ) [ TEXT HIM ]
Well, that's not true. You've aged out of "boytoy" by now.
1. I'm gonna go huff some paint and try and forget that you said that.
2. Do you think your head would look good on a pike?
3. "I could fix him." Whatever. I could beat his ass.
4. Don't stand too close to him. He's seen some shit.
5. The only thing magnetic charging cables for vibrators are good for is choking whoever invented them.
6. Did it scar? Let me see.
7. Text her.
Edited 2024-11-01 22:15 (UTC)
1. On top, of course. So I can see what belongs to me.
2. I didn't know you were into breathplay. I just wanted you to shut up.
3. No, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
4. You smell like poor life decisions.
5. Text her.
Edited 2024-10-29 16:22 (UTC)
1. 'He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best: eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.'
2. I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholicsΒ are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so I called him jesus and thanked him for the wine.
3. in other news there is a guy walking around here who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day. I don't want to flatter myself, but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
4. can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos.
5. I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
6. wildcard bb!
2. I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholicsΒ are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so I called him jesus and thanked him for the wine.
3. in other news there is a guy walking around here who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day. I don't want to flatter myself, but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
4. can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos.
5. I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
6. wildcard bb!
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