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what a month! this is texts from last night.
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)
what a month! this is texts from last night.
(meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)
1. he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
2. i don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
3. there's no food at the bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread!
4. either this place is haunted or i'm far more drunk than i thought.
5. i've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
1. head not empty, many abstract uncommunicatable thoughts.
2. my possible career choices: a.) cloud, b.) flower
3.) in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
4.) warm water tastes round and cold water tastes pointy.
5.) text him.
Edited 2024-10-29 12:41 (UTC)
1. I woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What happened?
2. apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling.
3. If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
4. There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. god bless leopard tube tops.
5. I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
6. wildcard, text him!
1. If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
2. don't remember much from last night, but i recall slipping you the tongue. for that i apologise.
3. Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later.
4. That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5. text him whatever!!
2. don't remember much from last night, but i recall slipping you the tongue. for that i apologise.
3. Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later.
4. That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
5. text him whatever!!
1. I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out.
2. you were really good. your skill is increasing over time
3. I immediately regret the tequila decision.
4. i dont get why youre mad at me.
5. text him whatever!!
2. you were really good. your skill is increasing over time
3. I immediately regret the tequila decision.
4. i dont get why youre mad at me.
5. text him whatever!!
one. If you're truly angry at him, do what I would: give him a heartfelt apology for all of your faults in your relationship, and then castrate him. He will never trust anyone ever again.
two. Tim Laughlin just walked in thirty minutes late to dinner smelling like another man and clutching his neck like we can't see the large bruise there. Hopeless.
three. Pretending to care about other people's feelings is becoming a full time profession.
The Gods are rarely inclined to listen, nephew.
I should be disappointed you're not better at it, then.
White, brown, Arborio, Basmati, Jasmine... Shall I go on?
oo1. I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the maze the standard.
oo2. You were impatient while we waited for our tequila shots so you licked and salted MY hand to get prepared.
oo3. I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
oo4. text her!
1. some of you lack the dissociative skills needed to emotionally survive being repeatedly hunted for sport and it shows.
2. if you all be nice to me i'll stop being evil.
3. does your man or lady know you get off on being strangled or is that just between us?
4. you know who actually has big dick energy? the lord.
5. or text him!
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