𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[longlegs]

so you'll just be half-british during this conversation then

my phone's been acting up and i keep sending stuff i don't want to send and there's this asshole who i'm pretty sure is trying to blackmail me and i wanna kick his ass because he DEFINITELY deserves to be punched but i can't

ah
sorry you married a loser but congrats on getting rid of them?

[mygoodsir]

I shall.

Why would he blackmail you?

I would say thank you but they left me, so I suppose I'm the loser. But I appreciate the sentiment.

[longlegs]

see if i tell you that's kinda giving you ammunition too isn't it

then he's a loser for leaving you because you're a half-british and all charming doctor

[mygoodsir]

A good point. I've no reason to. I'm wealthy, old, and tired. But I respect your privacy.

That's very kind of you.

[longlegs]

see you're instantly better than that asshole that actually deserves to get punched

i'm mila btw :)
are you cute?

[mygoodsir]

Glad I could manage that.

A pleasure, Mila. Harry.
Only if you like beards and body hair.

[longlegs]

so you're hairy harry, the doctor who is a good sir
sounds neat
how old are you?

[mygoodsir]

I am.

An ancient thirty-seven.

[longlegs]

the gasp, the horror

Ill send you a pic of me if you send me one of you
since you're so ancient and i love history

[mygoodsir]

[IMG attachment]

[longlegs]

omg your curls are kinda perfect
this is me ♥︎

img.jpg

[mygoodsir]

Thank you kindly.

A proper stunner.

[longlegs]

stunner
that's cute
and so are you :)

[ ... ]

this is where i ask if you're gay and you say yes and i just delete the whole conversation so there's one less proof of me being a total embarrassment isn't it

[mygoodsir]

Thank you.

Not at all. I'm an equal opportunist. This is where I ask if you'd like a drink, perhaps?

[longlegs]

okay well, ego saved

i think i would actually
where do you wanna go?

[mygoodsir]

There's a lovely terrace on the north side of the manor. Good view. I could bring up a bottle of something.

[longlegs]

sounds great
make it sweet
now?

[mygoodsir]

I can do sweet.

Certainly.

[longlegs]

text me when you're up there

[ She's not going through the effort only to risk being stood up, thanks. ]

[mygoodsir]

[He would never! No, he just gets a nice bottle of rosè and heads up.]

Arrived.

[longlegs]

omw!

[ And there she is, keeping it... relatively simple, for her usual style. Mila's fixing her hair a little, brushing some strands behind her ear, sliding her sunglasses down from her head to the bridge of her nose once she's outside. ]

Hey there, doctor.

[mygoodsir]

[Oh. He really is a sucker for good legs. Harry smiles, which makes him look a lot less like a depressed English professor, and holds up the bottle of wine.]

I do hope this will suffice.

[He uncorks it and pours her a glass first, because he's a gentleman.]

It's lovely to meet you.

[longlegs]

[ A gentleman. She takes the glass, biting her lower lip, looking at him from head to toe appreciatively. Mila maybe needs to stop wearing all these platforms, she keeps towering over the people she wants to impress — unless they're into that. ]

Lovely to meet you too. I don't usually hang out with doctors, [ For fun, anyway. ] So what brought you to Saltburnt, Harry?

[mygoodsir]

[Harry is so used to being the short one that he doesn't even register it.]

Well, I'll try not to give all medical professionals a bad name, then.

[He pours himself a glass, too.]

I'm an old family friend. I haven't been in a few years - my ex wasn't particularly fond of English summers. I felt like I needed a holiday and this seemed a lovely choice.

[longlegs]

[ She makes an eh face, shrugging softly. ] English summer lasts like, three days, so we get what we can, huh.

[ She raises her glass. ]

To the best holiday ever.