fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

[money]

You haven't met him? He's nice. ( to nami!!! ) Fuck Caroline, marry Homelander and become Mrs. Homelander, kill Da-Lua. Easy.

Your turn: Tim, Bob, Koby.

( girl who notably did not grab names out of the hat )

[holyposition]

I would like to be excluded from this game, Nami.

[ Ask him in 2.5 drinks. ]

[money]

I would like ten billion berry, Tim.

[holyposition]

To do what with? The Balfours don't want berries.

extremely here actually.

[breeding]

[ nice? mrs. homelander??? mrs. homelander??????? ]

extremely here BACK.

[money]

( holding up her hand, waggling her ring finger. rockless???? )

[breeding]

[ It's fun. Fun in the way Nami is fun, where the thrill comes half from the fact that she likes him at all and half from the fact that he's never one hundred percent sure where the line between serious and joking is. But she says everything like she means it, even the jokes, and that's part of what he likes about her.

So: his eyebrows raise, but he taps his own ring finger, mouthing, what's your size? ]

[money]

( she laughs, not quietly, shaking her head at him. still, there can only be one answer, which she mouths at him with a gesture of something of some great heft and weight: big.

before winking at him. he gets it. )

watching from across the room

[kobes]

[]

not here.

[money]

( don't think for a second u were not clocked marrying ani and not nami. so i guess i mean nothing to u.

)

[kobes]

[🥺🥺🥺 and if he wants to sleep like a curled up little shrimp in nami's bed and be her personal heating pad for all of time??? does this mean nothing??]

[molloys]

[swiveling around on his chair immediately to give her the attention she deserves.] Mmmm, now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are the owner of this fine establishment, yes? Far be it from me to disagree with your assessment, being so new myself.

[he takes a sip of the drink he's been made, tongue dragging over his lower lip.] Only had the pleasure of meeting the first two, unfortunately, so: fuck Tim, marry Bob, kill Koby.

just listening.

[holyposition]

[ Wrong answer! ]

[molloys]

[cute when you're mad, timbo. have a raised glass and a smirk.]

[money]

That's me. ( flashing a smile. ) You can call me Mistress Nami.

Also — ( putting her arms up in an 'X', letting out a loud buzzer noise from the side of her mouth. ) Wrong! You can't kill Koby, he's a baby.

[molloys]

Mistress Nami, it's a pleasure. [a tip of his head, a raise of his glass.

then, after a furrowed-brow moment:] The only option is kill myself, then. No other recourse, I fear. [a woeful sigh.] I'll take it to the garden so I don't ruin the hardwood, don't you fret.

[sensive]

[ 🥹👉👈

afterward, feeling very magnanimous at the top (of the bottom ranking) tonight: ]

You can kill me on rematch and marry Koby. He’s really nice.

[ + tim only just started not outright shit-talking him at every opportunity. ]

not here

[holyposition]

[ Two opportunities. Three at most!!! But approval points for saving Koby ❤️ ]

[molloys]

I read the pamphlet. [and that's all he has to say there, several drinks in and arms stretched out along the booth.] Its overwhelmingly verbose. Though, I suppose any marriage I get myself into would have an element of me being the dumb, pretty one, so that tracks.

[fondly, eye-crinkly-warm:] Not doing the world the disservice of offing you, though, Bob, sorry not sorry.

[sensive]

C’mon, [ waving his hand, ] you gotta be good at math and stocks and stuff. [ thinking hard. ] The trades?

[ corry’s job is as much of a mystery to bob as people who seem to be full time vampires and werewolves. bob drags his gesturing hand back through his hair, sheepish but pleased. ]

But — okay, okay. Guess you’ll be stuck with me a while.

[ on account of not dying and being lawfully wed. ]

[molloys]

[corry laughs, the sound looser, more relaxed after several old-fashioneds, flashing a grin up at bob.] You think I'm not immediately retiring now that you've made an honest man of me? I'm leaving the rat race and becoming a trophy husband, thank you very much.

[a beat, then corry drums his fingers lightly on the back of the booth, flicking his eyes to the seat beside him.] You headin' out or planning to stay a while?

[no wrong answer; bob has a life, has people here, and corry’s an unknown entity for most. being seen leaving the auction hall is a little more plausibly deniable than canoodling in a booth, after all -- if bob doesn't want questions, corry will remain a perfect gentleman in public. he already has a behind-closed-doors guarantee, after all.]

[sensive]

Hope you got money saved, because I have negative dollars in my bank account and the promise of a government salary, if I’m of service to American interests when the aliens invade.

[ which seems debatable, at this stage of his super-training. he sways little on the spot, following the pull of corry’s gaze before sliding in beside him. near enough to touch but not quite committing to it. instead, he tugs at the collar of his burgundy knit. ducks his head. ]

[ voice low enough that only corry (and the supernaturally enhanced) can hear it, ] I don’t really like the game. [ when a lot of people are taking it seriously — personally. maybe it’s impossible not to. ] But I’ll probably stay. A bit. Keep an eye on things.

[ to watch embry, to watch ani; separate tasks that intersect unpleasantly. ]

[molloys]

Oh, so I’m a trophy husband and a sugar daddy? [corry whistles low, shaking his head in amazement.] I really can do it all, huh?

Y’know, I always wondered what the contingency plan was for friendly aliens. [bob sits beside him and corry keeps his outstretched arms where they are, spread along the back of the booth, close enough that the shy, fidgety movements have the loose, silky ends of a couple curls brushing just against the inside of one wrist. corry huffs out a laugh, turns his hand just slightly, just so the next head-duck, the next sway has the side of his thumb brushing against the back of bob’s neck.] Or sexy ones.

[then, glancing around the room, he nods, settles his hand, the warmth of his body enough to feel (perhaps even more so, enhanced senses and all) but not touching, not yet.] Given me a decent crash course in who’s who. But I’m a terrible participant, being as I know maybe…four people here.

[a laugh, soft, rumbling:] Part of me wants to know what the story is for some people, and another thinks I’m better off not knowing. [his eyes cut towards embry, ani, hawk, a few other clusters of people.] Minding my own business might be a fun new thing to try.

not here.

[sensive]

[ ]