fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

elias moore "stack" | sinners

[jukejoint]

A'ight —

Good Stab, Ilya, and Roza.

[littlepebble]

Hmmmmmmmm.

Fuck Roza, she's beautiful. Marry Good Stab, he seems nice and won't die too soon. Kill Ilya. Sorry!

corrigan molloy | OC

[molloys]

[man who just got here five minutes ago:]

Da-Lua, Homelander, Caroline. [a beat.] There's a person named "Homelander" here?

[money]

You haven't met him? He's nice. ( to nami!!! ) Fuck Caroline, marry Homelander and become Mrs. Homelander, kill Da-Lua. Easy.

Your turn: Tim, Bob, Koby.

( girl who notably did not grab names out of the hat )

yeko ☆ original

[endow]

Haha! So fun. Let's play:

Cassian, Wanda, Eddie. These are not people I know personally, but [shrug] Who cares? If you tell me a secret about them I'll return the favor.

[quizzes]

Marry Wanda, chop the rest!!

( guy who doesn't get the game. )

Secret about Wanda: her favorite color is red! That's cool, right? She's the bomb.

da-lua — original

[queimar]

[ From a hat, ]

Alia. Max. Jem.

[littlepebble]

I've already tasted Alia's many pleasures, so, fuck Max. Marry Alia so I can taste them again. Kill Jem.

max guevara | dark angel

[revvedup]

[ what the hell, sure. ]

Stack, Kate, Sam.

[vdovy]

Marry Sam, she's very cool and pretty and she can cook. That's wife material.
Fuck Kate because I have seen how she lives. One fork. Not wife material.
Kill Stack (Welcome, Stack! 🥳 Sorry, Stack. 😥)

embry moore — new camelot trilogy

[hymen]

Ani, Bucky, me.

[holyposition]

Why do you do this to yourself?

scott hunter | heated rivalry

[murderbooks]

I don't know anyone here, but, Dean Winchester, Neon Tetra, Cassian.

[homosexuals]

New in town, huh?

Marry Dean, fuck Cassian, kill Neon.

ptolemais, oc

[buio]

Armand, Astarion and Katherine.

(Vampire round.)

semi-here.

[thirsted]

[ ]

stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries

[interpersonally]

Okay, Theo, Shadowheart, Iggy

[longlegs]

Fuck Theo, marry my bestie Iggy. Sorry, Shadowheart.

dean winchester | supernatural

[cholesterol]

Adam, Melissa, Lestat

[holyposition]

[ After drinking enough to agree to participate: ]

Fuck Lestat, marry Melissa and have a friendly supportive lavender thing, kill Adam.

angel(us) | btvs

[redeems]

Hmm, Devon, Melissa, Wei Wuxian

[mygoodsir]

Apologies to Mr. Wuxian but I think he would understand his death.

Marry Melissa but in a platonic way that merely gives her good social standing.

mark trevena | lyonesse trilogy

[spies]

Anora, Nami, Koby.

[kobes]

[bussing tables, but:] Marry Ani, sleep with Nami, kill me.

michael burnham | star trek: discovery

[intelligence]

I got... Bob, Jackie, Silco.

[buio]

Fuck Bob... marry Jackie, I guess. Kill Silco.

oa | the oa

[resurrected]

OA, Roza, Carol.

— I didn't mean to pick myself.

[temporicide]

We marry each other and then fight to the death for Carol.

[ who is carol ]

roza zaripova ✶⋆.˚ original

[temporicide]

I will give a prize to whoever gets killed the most. If it's me someone else will have to give me one.

But now, Saber, the Stranger — the Stranger? — and Kovacs. Battle of the boys.

[kobes]

Ummm...marry the Stranger, kill Saber, sleep with Kovacs.

[as he tops off her water and slides complimentary fries on the table.]

isolde laurence 🗡️ lyonesse trilogy

[knelt]

Um. Tony, August, and Ash. Or — Maxen? Colchester.

[longlegs]

Ff...fuck Ash, marry August, kill Tony?

[ She can't kill the guy that died during Werewolf. ]

cassian andor | star wars

[aldhani]

[his name's come up enough times, so he might as well draw himself.]

House, Alec, Harry.

[a beat. he shrugs with the easy part of this one.]

Kill Alec.

[holyposition]

Fuck House, marry Harry, kill Alec, I guess. I don't know him.

wanda maximoff | mcu

[wundagores]

Isolde, Armand, Sofia.

I'll have to think about my answers, but what are yours?

[femicide]

[ awing, ] Isolde, with her sweet little face. You couldn’t possibly kill her. But — [ tapping the ash from her cigarette. ] — could you fuck her? Now that is the question.

peter parker | tasm

[blabbering]

I got Dean, Set, and Gwen.

Uh — I don't wanna kill anyone. I'm sure the guys I don't know are nice.

not here

[internship]

[ tread so very carefully, mister ]

armand thee vampire | iwtv

[nishtha]

[ Not drinking, but interested in the drama. ]

Shanks, Good Stab, Corrigan.

[redsoil]

[ !!! ]

I have already wed Shanks. Who do you recommend fxcking?

[nightsung]

Yelena, Parisa, Greer.

[multiverse]

Marry Yelena, fuck Greer. Rest in peace, sweet Parisa. Gone but not forgotten. Heart — what will you write on my tombstone? Something beautiful, I pray.

[holyposition]

[ Drunk, giggly: ]

Stefan, Stephen, and....Bob.

regrettably right here.

[sensive]

[

sighing so loudly, like a dog. ]

Lemme guess. [ ticking this off on his fingers, ] Marry Stephen, fuck Stefan, lights out for Bob.

[kobes]

[because nami made him play instead of refilling everyone's drinks:] Ummmm...Ms. Amy, Gwen, Good Stab.

I guess, uh. Marry Amy and Gwen and sleep with Good Stab. [cheater!!!]

[internship]

I think we’d have a pretty fun household with Amy, actually. Great dinner parties.

sam carpenter | scream

[maoa]

Caroline, Klaus, Buffy.

[interpersonally]

Well, I'm in a relationship with both of them, and engaged to Caroline, so Buffy, unfortunately, will be killed.

Ava Starr (Ghost) | Marvel Cinematic Universe (Thunderbolts)

[unfazeable]

All right, shit. Umm. What's... Am I pronouncing this right—Ptolemais?

Bob. I know that one. You get a lot of action for something left in the oven. [she doesn't know the half of it, and that's given she is already aware of holegate five fucking minutes ago.]

And Murphy.

[sensive]

[ help!!!! ]

I really don’t — it’s not really. Like that. I don’t know what the hole post was about. I’ve never met that guy.