fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

peter parker | tasm

[blabbering]

I got Dean, Set, and Gwen.

Uh — I don't wanna kill anyone. I'm sure the guys I don't know are nice.

not here

[internship]

[ tread so very carefully, mister ]

not here

[blabbering]

[he's literally terrified for his life right now, don't worry ❤️]

[hymen]

Fuck Gwen, marry Set, kill Dean.

[blabbering]

[oh hey, it's divorce guy]

Did Dean do something bad? Because that was, like, super quick.

[cholesterol]

Dude.

[redsoil]

I would be a fantastic partner AND drive you insane with the greatest pleasure! ♡

[ this is how he shows affection ]

[temujackie]

I'd fuck Gwen, marry Set, and kill Dean.

[ if she knew she was talking to gwen's boyfriend rn she would never have said "fuck gwen" with her full chest like that ]

[blabbering]

[one very suspiciously awkward laugh later:]

Man, what did this Dean guy do? That's, like, multiple people who wanna kill him now. I gotta know.

[maybe if he keeps dodging mentioning gwen he'll get out of this alive!!]

[temujackie]

Oh, he didn't do anything, at least not that I know of. I just think Set would take good care of me and Gwen is really pretty, so... he just ended up unlucky?

[blabbering]

Oh.

[nodding]

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. [nodding again! he's becoming a human bobblehead] I mean, yeah, Gwen's totally the prettiest girl here. [a beat] Uh, you're really pretty, too. Definitely no offense meant, no offense at all. And I don't know w lot about Set but I'm gonna take your word for it.

[temujackie]

[ pfft ]

Uh, none taken. It's cool.

still not here

[internship]

[ just smiling into her drink!! ]

[redsoil]

[ ❤️ set has liked your post ]

[achilles]

Marry Gwen, fuck Set, kill Dean. With respect.

( both 2 dean who ash thinks is a pretty cool dude, and 2 peter who ash just said he'd marry his gf to. possibly maybe also 2 shanks, though he and set seem pretty cool on that front. )

[blabbering]

[not thinking about how the literal president of the united states is probably a better husband to gwen than he'd ever be — not that he's thinking about marrying anybody, he's 19 years old, okay, but!

anyway:]

That's, uh — I think you've got the popular vote, Mr. President.

[nailed it?? good joke??]

[cholesterol]

( from a nearby passed hat, he gets a 'what did I ever do,' gesture. And then gestures, because, 'WITH RESPECT?' )

[masticated]

I'll fuck Gwen [again, technically. not answering the rest correctly!] and I'll kill the others. How come you don't wanna kill 'em? You a scardy-cat?

[blabbering]

What kind of question is that? Are you seven?

[this is the part to focus on]

I don't wanna kill them because I don't wanna kill people. I'm a nice person.

[masticated]

Are you seven? You can't even play a hypothetical without gettin' pissy.

[sticking his tongue through his teeth with an evil grin.]

So. You gonna kill 'em, or do we have to use a handicap for this game? "Peter won't play pretend". C'mon. Don't be a baby.

[blabbering]

[his whole face is basically a look that screams seriously???]

You know what, man, I think I changed my mind. Maybe in fuck, marry, kill, I wanna kill you. Who's a baby now?

[katharma]

Marry Gwen!

[ maybe a little too eagerly. ]

Fuck Dean. I guess kill Set in that case?

[blabbering]

[oh??

first things first:]

You know, you're the first person who hasn't wanted to kill Dean. I think he appreciates it. He seems like a really nice guy.

[he can't ignore the obvious forever, though, can he?]

But yeah, Gwen's great. Good choice, good choice.

[katharma]

I mean, I would hope you’d think so. [ she smiles brightly, twirling her straw in her drink before she sips from it, cheeks flushed with her smile. and maybe a bit of something else. ]

Okay, uhh - Dom, me, and Lestat.

[blabbering]

[he smiles, too, because that's kind of contagious? why wouldn't he?]

I'd marry you, easy. They'd totally let three people get married here. Like, they'd have to, right?

[whoa. time to reel himself back in. he ducks for another sip of his drink.]

For the other two, um — I mean, they both seem nice. I don't wanna kill either of them, either? [c'mon jackie, don't do this to him.] I guess kill Lestat if I had to kill someone, because he seems like he could take it. So — fuck Dom?