fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

[mygoodsir]

I am teasing, Tim.

I would marry Stephen. Stefan is, sadly, not my type, so...

[holyposition]

You're banned from sleeping with him for the same reason I wouldn't. It's too weird.

[mygoodsir]

I do agree.

...I actually think Stephen would make a lovely husband. I can imagine him in an apron with a fine wine at the ready for supper.

[nightsung]

I’m sure I have photos of exactly this from our time at the commune.

[mygoodsir]

Ah, I knew it! [Local man far too delighted.]

[holyposition]

Oh, is that what you want? An apron and dinner on the table right when you get home?

[mygoodsir]

And if I did? [oh god they're being schmoopy]

[holyposition]

I guess I'd ask if you want beef or chicken.

[mygoodsir]

Whichever you'd prefer.

[holyposition]

Hmmm...

[ Not the kind of meat he's thinking about right now. Tequila makes him frisky. ]

You're cute.

[mygoodsir]

And you're drunk, my dear.

[holyposition]

I'm not drunk.

[ He lied, lyingly, ]

Spin the wheel. I'll answer.

[mygoodsir]

Mm.

[Spin!]

Peony, Robin, and Yeko. Sorry, Tim. You shall be living a lie.

[holyposition]

All girls? No, try again.

[mygoodsir]

Alright...

Ilya, Louis, Corrigan.

[holyposition]

Hmm....

[ Putting a lot of thought into this. ]

I don't know Ilya. But he's blond so I'll kill him.

I want to say marry Louis, but I don't want any more drama with Armand. He used to be Catholic, though. And that's important to me. And Corry doesn't think I'm marraige material, apparently, so I guess I have to have sex with him again. And marry Louis.

[mygoodsir]

Tim my darling, are you feeling a little spurned that you were not chosen for marriage?

[holyposition]

No, I don't want to marry him! But especially not if he wouldn't even want me.

It's the church thing. Louis would understand better.

[mygoodsir]

[Oh Tim.]

He would. Better than I, perhaps.

[holyposition]

I don't know. He's been lapsed for a century. There's other things you understand better, still.

[mygoodsir]

I should speak to him properly some time.

Are there?

[holyposition]

He's a good guy. He taught me I don't need to be afraid of vampires.

Uh huh. He can read minds, but I'd bet you still know what I need better.

[mygoodsir]

I might, at that. [They are being so gross...]

[holyposition]

[ If they're not making out or on top of each other, they're practically playing it cool, as far as Saltburnt goes. New Year's resolution to relax a little more, this is what you get. ]

I can probably get Nami to let me out early because of my foot, if you're ready to take me home.

[mygoodsir]

She won't be cross?

[Fun fact: he's kinda scared of Nami.]