fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

ani mikheeva 🦋 anora.

[haggle]

Silco, for the bitch with daddy issues. ( one-by-one, she wads up the names and swats them with a bored flick of the nail. no insurance payouts for any foreheads caught in the crossfire. ) Danny, for the bitch who wants the full package — fucked, married, and killed. ( loudest gum pop in all of human history: ) — Ash, for the patriotic pussy.

[cholesterol]

Isn't Danny a literal serial killer? ( He just eyes the swatted pieces of paper with a sigh. ) Guess off the bat, I marry Ash. But, kinda want to not bone my boss. Or Danny. Fuck, I guess, Silco, and end Danny.

[ghostface]

( from the sidelines, all danny wants to know— )

Are you fucking me or killing me, Ani? Fuck Ash, marry Silco, kill myself.

[hymen]

Now do the last part.

[ghostface]

Do it yourself, you fuckin' pussy.

[hymen]

You ever gonna get tired of begging me for that the way people get tired of you?

[ghostface]

( lol. lmao, even. )

Who's in whose face here, Embry? I ain't riding your neurotic cunt every time someone drops your name, but it is fuckin' weird how your version of moving on always seems to start with my name or dick in your mouth.

[hymen]

You put Ash's name in your mouth. I told you don't fucking say his name again. Don't think about him. Don't even look at him. That's why I'm in your face, and you knew I would be. Don't play stupid with me.

[ghostface]

Just meeting you at your level. ( see: stupid. see: never learns. ) You've given me absolutely fuck-all of an incentive to do anything you want. Do some shit about it, or fuck off.

[nishtha]

[ Also in the peanut gallery. ]

Seconded. He's very pretty when he dies.

[holyposition]

Sleep with Silco, marry Ash, kill Danny. Just kill. I don't want all the extra.

[maoa]

[ she had to bring up the daddy issues huh ]

Fuck Silco. Kill Ash, marry Danny. Maybe I want all three.

not here

[cdh13]

[]

literally not here.

[powerhungry]

[ ]

[hymen]

Don't you mean Ash from the psych ward? I couldn't text you back the laughing emoji because you blocked me.

[sensive]

[ sliding in, ]

One hundred foot rule, Moore. [ you set that number, brother. ] Don’t make me move the chair with you on it. That’s just embarrassing.

[hymen]

Do you know what she called Ash and Greer?

[ while dragging his chair, because you hate him and want him to die? ]

Never mind, Reynolds. Wouldn’t want to cut into your time defending a bunch of Danny-fuckers. Ani would know how to identify which family belongs in the psych ward. Ask her to write up the list of which one of you she thinks is top crazy.

[ guy who’s about to fuck danny to get his husband’s corpse photos back. ]

[sensive]

[ so cute you think he’s dragging it and not lifting it one-handed. hold on, baby. ]

I know you’re gonna tell me.

[ terminal case of can’t shut up disease. ]

But we really, uh, don’t need to go over the list of who has actually fucked that creep. [ you are on it at least twice. ] Also, you don’t need to think about who Ani is and isn’t fucking. Or who she thinks is crazy. It makes you crazy, when I know you can be normal. Sometimes.

[ citation needed. ]

[hymen]

[ he can kill himself literally any time he wants? ]

I'm not. [ decided as of half a second ago, when those words left bob's mouth. ] It wouldn't matter, because you don't care about them or me.

She's not fucking Danny. That's beneath her. [ right? ] Thanks for defending me. You're an asshole.

[sensive]

[ okay man who laid in bed with him to achieve maximum depression 2-3 business days prior. ]

I care a lot. You’re just saying stuff.

[ going down at another, empty table, big guy. one hand on his shoulder, enough to keep him there, when bob rounds to the chair lean against the table’s edge. ]

Remember when you were my lawyer? [ tilting his head, ] If I was your lawyer now, I’d give you the same advice.

[ shutting the fuck up is his best defence, especially when it comes to ani and danny. ]

[haggle]

( supernaturally loud, for a woman the make and size of thumbelina: )

Nah. I meant the Ash that's not even your hubby. Remember that?

( watching embry moore get tossed into the playpen for timeout is the best day in her shitty existence, actually. sometimes you make the scientific discovery that god is real, and his name is bob reynolds. )

Oops, look like the trash collector's here to pick your ass up. Bye-bye, bitch.

very much here.

[sensive]

[ ]

[cdh13]

Fuck Ash, because he's hot? Not like I need to hear him talk or anything right?

Marry Silco because hey, man can run a business.

Kill Danny because I think he would even like it. Good for him.

[temporicide]

I'm an all-in-one kind of girl, so that one's easy. Except we haven't done the killing part yet.

But who do you think has the most patriotic pussy of them all? It is not me, sorry to say.

[danced]

Fuck Ash. Kill Silco. [ one reminds her of someone who'd hurt her more than the other, based on whatever passing interactions they'd had within this space. ] I guess that leaves Danny to marry by default.

[ he doesn't remind her of anyone. ]