𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

[saltburntmods]

MISFIRES

a rambunctious duo in salt has stuck their nose where they shouldn't and now you can all reap the rewards! this is a MISFIRES meme. post a header for your character, and receive accidental texts from your local saltburntian guests. nudes, nasties, confessions of a certain persuasion? things you'd otherwise never write or send? they're all on the table. (meme threads aren't game canon, but they're not not game canon either, right)

Comments

[longlegs]

meh, they can stay i guess
you do need your sugar daddies and dilfs after all

?? since when do you care
and since when do you even keep pictures of that on your phone wtf
are you having another crisis
is it that guy you definitely don't have a crush on

[ still #clueless about the misfire ]

[mygoodsir]

Can't allow the sugar babies to starve.

As juicy as that gossip sounds, I'm afraid you've the wrong number, my dear. But feel free to tell me all about it, it sounds entertaining.

[longlegs]

[ waaait a minute ]

oh shit
what did i say

[ Scrolling up for anything too incriminating — and a sigh of relief. ]

okay never mind we're good
who is this lol

[mygoodsir]

Dr. Goodsir at your service. The one who looks like a depressed poodle?

Who did you think it was?

[longlegs]

oh
i don't usually notice depressed people, sorry

but you're an actual doctor-doctor?

that was supposed to be for one of my best friends but my phone has been fucking up all week and i hate it

[mygoodsir]

A good way to live your life.

Yes. Emergency and trauma surgeon.

And your best friend has an ill advised crush and a cigarette addiction?

[longlegs]

thanks!

that's hardcore doc
do you see a lot of that around here? parties get wild huh

yes and yes wow you're smart

[mygoodsir]

So far things have been quiet. Nothing requiring stitches, anyway.

How awful. However will you cope?

[longlegs]

damn, they're getting soft then

how will i cope with you being smart? :p

[mygoodsir]

Indeed they are. Someone needs to be stabbed.

I meant your friend's drama.

[longlegs]

[ dang okay ]

not it

oh it'll be fine he's got new drama every week
he did get punched recently though
that was new

[mygoodsir]

Very smart.

Oh, one of those. I know the type.
Did he deserve it? Be honest.

[longlegs]

[ kya ]

thanks, i try

omg no! the guy punched him because he thought he was hooking up with his ex which like, okay that's a huge fucking red flag, no wonder they're an ex-status
and even if he was, like, it's none of his business? the guy was just an asshole

[mygoodsir]

And succeed effortlessly.

I admit I understand how infuriating seeing an ex with someone in, but generally I'd advocate focusing one's ire on the ex, not the hapless hookup. With a few exceptions.

[longlegs]

you're either super charming or super sarcastic and because I've had a shitty day i choose to believe it's the former

i'd rather nobody focus on anybody
punches are so lame
exes are lame
that loser should be looking for people to hook up with and leave my friends alone
but i guess he's a loser so he can't
anyway
you got experience?

[mygoodsir]

I'm British, so I'm both at the same time.

Why such a shitty day? Aside from the punching.

I'm divorced. So I suppose that counts, yes.

[longlegs]

so you'll just be half-british during this conversation then

my phone's been acting up and i keep sending stuff i don't want to send and there's this asshole who i'm pretty sure is trying to blackmail me and i wanna kick his ass because he DEFINITELY deserves to be punched but i can't

ah
sorry you married a loser but congrats on getting rid of them?

[mygoodsir]

I shall.

Why would he blackmail you?

I would say thank you but they left me, so I suppose I'm the loser. But I appreciate the sentiment.

[longlegs]

see if i tell you that's kinda giving you ammunition too isn't it

then he's a loser for leaving you because you're a half-british and all charming doctor

[mygoodsir]

A good point. I've no reason to. I'm wealthy, old, and tired. But I respect your privacy.

That's very kind of you.

[longlegs]

see you're instantly better than that asshole that actually deserves to get punched

i'm mila btw :)
are you cute?

[mygoodsir]

Glad I could manage that.

A pleasure, Mila. Harry.
Only if you like beards and body hair.

[longlegs]

so you're hairy harry, the doctor who is a good sir
sounds neat
how old are you?

[mygoodsir]

I am.

An ancient thirty-seven.

[longlegs]

the gasp, the horror

Ill send you a pic of me if you send me one of you
since you're so ancient and i love history