fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

u guys so quick

[masticated]

No, [is this girl crazy. he's into it.] nope, not like that. I'll fuck you, but he's keepin' his hands off me. If he touches me I'll kill him, even if I'm inside you. Even if I'm eatin' you so good you're screamin'. If he touches me I'll gut him. We clear?

[sapphira. adrian. adrian, sapphira. what's the move here, is he killing someone or nah.]

[retrogressive]

Are you scared of the penis? His does look very large, theoretically. I assure you, there's nothing to be afraid of. It will go in with ease.

[masticated]

[uh oh you're losing him]

I'm not gay. I'm not takin' a dick up the ass.

[quizzes]

— You're not?

( why was ur dick hard when u killed me then? )

[masticated]

[why is this a question????]

No. I like girls.

[and he gets hard when he kills ppl and theres a very thin grey area forming there but we don't talk about that]

[quizzes]

Oh. ( hm. ) Sorry I talk about bending you over all the time. I thought it was chill.

[masticated]

[unexpected apology from adrian????]

I thought that was how you talked 'cause you can't shut your trap about dick. You were hittin' on me?

[quizzes]

( hitting on him??

)

I guess, maybe? Not really. I definitely want to beat your ass.

[masticated]

You don't stand a chance.

[retrogressive]

[ strange thing to object to ? ]

You don't have to be gay to take it. But that's all right! I'll take care of him. Can you be more lenient if he accidentally touches you, though? I'm not opposed to corpses, but Adrian is very important to me. I'll put glass in everyone's food if anything happens to him.

[quizzes]

( "very important to me" 🥺 )

Sapphira, you're the dopest. I'll put glass in everyone's food if anything happens to you!

[masticated]

Sweetheart, you can put glass in everyone's food and I'll still eat it.

[debating. debating. ok.]

Fine. You take care of him and I won't kill him.