fuck marry kill

[money]

FUCK, MARRY, KILL

welcome to GAME NIGHT at DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. the game on the docket? FUCK, MARRY, KILL. the rules are simple: roll the game picker wheel three times or just pick three as you'd like, dropping the names in your header comment — icly we'll say they picked they names out of a hat. people respond, comment around, get into fist fights, kiss a little? thread hop and react as you see fit!
(meme threads can be considered canon!)

Comments

Thresher Shark | OC

[macrosmatic]

Misty, Shanks, and Carol.

[ and never having spoken to any of them, ] Fuck Shanks, marry Carol, kill Misty.

[cholesterol]

Kill Misty, Marry... I don't know, I like Shanks, but Carol seems cool from afar. Set would probably not want me in his marriage. So, then, one night stand with Shanks and marry the new girl, Carol.

[queimar]

So you do like tall men.

[wycaros]

Gee, I'm flattered.

[unfazeable]

Kill Shanks, sounds a bit dismembery anyway, marry Misty. And—uh.

[her brain is catching up with her mouth, grinding to an awkward pause.] Well, you know the rest.

Peony | Original

[hislittleflower]

Hap, August, Sapphira.

None of these sound like real names, let alone real people.

[cholesterol]

I'd say, Sapphira. She must be new. But, it's Hap. So, shaft Hap. I guess sleep with Sapphira because I don't know her and marry August. Makes a mean magic drink.

[maoa]

Kill Hap. Sapphira’s pretty hot but I’d take her out first.

Marry August. [ sort of mumbled into her drink before she downs the rest of it. ]

klaus mikaelson ⚜️ tvdu

[poppycock]

Koby, Isolde, Armand.

[temporicide]

Oh, no, this one is too hard!

[cholesterol]

Koby's too young ( And annoying ) only seen Isolde today, but she's beautiful, but I don't need to sex up the head wolf. Maybe, marry Armand, but, like a long distance sexless marriage. And then, yeah Isolde's -- worth it.

adrian chase 🐬 peacemaker

[quizzes]

Me next!

Okay. Peony — total hottie — Amy — also major hottie — Sapphira — sounds hot — Katherine — so hot — Bucky — mega hot dude, fosho — Ren — hot and angry — and — hey, Bob! He jerked me off the other day! He wins.

[retrogressive]

I don't know if you're playing correctly, but this is my first time too! The answers have been illuminating and I feel like I know everyone much better now. [ many hot girls. some guy named bob whose purpose is handjobs. ] You seem popular and knowledgeable. Will you help me find my footing here?

[murderbooks]

... So, which of those, I assume you won't be killing?

( What an honst person... )

[begot]

[ —??? ]

Oh! Thank you. I'll take the loss, considering the judging criteria.

[ragesagainsttheodds]

[ Angrily:]

I'm not angry!

saber tooth – original

[masticated]

[big bad man coming in hot with his big lazy tiger. after downing a shot and slamming the glass on the table:]

Let's go! Fuck, marry, kill: Grace, Embry, me.

[buio]

Kill you.

[homosexuals]

Marry Grace, fuck Embry, kill you.

Obviously.

[nightsung]

If anyone willingly marries you I’ll dye my hair pink.

ani mikheeva 🦋 anora.

[haggle]

Silco, for the bitch with daddy issues. ( one-by-one, she wads up the names and swats them with a bored flick of the nail. no insurance payouts for any foreheads caught in the crossfire. ) Danny, for the bitch who wants the full package — fucked, married, and killed. ( loudest gum pop in all of human history: ) — Ash, for the patriotic pussy.

[cholesterol]

Isn't Danny a literal serial killer? ( He just eyes the swatted pieces of paper with a sigh. ) Guess off the bat, I marry Ash. But, kinda want to not bone my boss. Or Danny. Fuck, I guess, Silco, and end Danny.

The Stranger | Star Wars (Acolyte)

[snaggleteeth]

Elias, Faith, and Gwen.

[achieved with the best assistance that even balfour money can't buy.]

Fuck Faith, marry Gwen, kill the angry little guy who shit the bed at ice hockey the week before Christmas. [a long and tragic pause, brow furrowing—]

Don't know how I feel about how well this lines up with Ani's ass rankings.

[scathe]

[why do people keep mentioning him. who is doing this. koby if he ever finds out you gave the stranger his name–]

I won those games. How is that 'shitting the bed'?

[dickhead.]

Kate Bishop | MCU

[purpura]

Oh, oh!

Cellar, Melissa, and I don't really wanna kill anyone buuuut let's saaaay Set? I bet Swt would rake it as a challenge or something, right?

Re: Kate Bishop | MCU

[mygoodsir]

[He has to really think about this one.]

I'm afraid platonic marriage is the only option I have for Melissa, although I am positive Cellar is a most perfect wife.

Set must die. No offense to him. Or at least not much.

Tara Carpenter | Scream

[cdh13]

Ani, Koby, Billy

Ren O'Neill | Original

[ragesagainsttheodds]

Urgh.

Faith, Josias, Dean.

Kill Dean 'cos he's like my Dad's age. I guess, fuck Faith? She seems like she'd be crazy in bed. Marry Josie. Not like he has much of a choice anyway.

[stake]

Correct.